Fuck it

Monday, 15 September 2014

The site was never actually down. I just pulled the top page. Have it back. What good it’ll do ya’.

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My buttons and I despise “Hills Like White Elephants” precisely because it’s so motherfucking effective

Tuesday, 13 May 2014

I admit it. My buttons are circled in neon lime and are bigger than Natalie Portman’s nipples.

Still.

Today some emo twat on FB called Ernest Miller dead *and* crap for dialog. ¿That shit?

And to back up his point he presented, as an alternative, a modern author whose critically acclaimed best-seller has a title which apes “The Short Happy Life of Francis Macomber.”

Y’all know I’d enjoy prison, yeah? Get some fucking writing done.

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Suggested slogans for match.com

Monday, 10 February 2014

  • Isn’t it time you settled?
  • You can’t hit snooze on your biological clock forever.
  • You don’t have to answer every question in your profile truthfully … he didn’t!
  • You’re not getting any younger, you know.
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Overheard at work #1

Sunday, 15 December 2013

You ever see that Wire show? It’s not bullshit like CSI. It’s like real life. It’s like how shit goes down.

White guy in suit taking a break between sales’ calls
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Unlikely to remain

Sunday, 8 September 2013

Sorry for the live tests but better than dead tests.

What?

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Please and Thank You, my 420 present to the world

Saturday, 20 April 2013

I don’t like pot as I think I’ve gone to great lengths to establish. I’m not trying to protect myself or present a false front and it’s not that I don’t like things. Lord no. I will use canned air on the empty bottle of hydrocodone to get the last dust. I will lick the underside of that cowpie smooth before I let a microgram of psilocybin bearing fungus escape back to the Earth. And they don’t call me the fifth for my love of bourbon but some enterprising biographer will make it funny someday.

I just don’t like marijuana. Not my cup of green tea.

Which is strange because I wrote a love song to Mary Jane recently. I like the lyrics pretty well but I know I’ll never record it and probably never perform it since the music for it is too close to another song I am going to keep and play.

So, it’s yours. Attribution only Creative Commons license.

Please and Thank You

Delightfully high, minding my own business Thank you My yard is groomed, my car is well parked yes Thank you I’m no threat to you or society I’m as friendly as a friend can be Innocuous is my middle name I like you and I hope you feel the same Please and thank you Higher than fuck, has just been my luck Thank you Inquiring minds are the better to find with Thank you My friends are polite and all smell nice My wares are worth their cost at twice the price I bet we’d get along given half a chance If you do change your mind, my arms remain askance Please and thank you It’s a pleasure dome, when I get home from work Thank you Why is it so hard to believe one can coexist with weed Thank you My neighbors have never needed to call the police You think I’d warrant one try at least All company is pleasant and you are more than welcome Say what you want but don’t say you’ll never come around Please and thank you Oh, I do tend to forget, but have no regrets Thank you Are we here to be happy or treat each other like crap Thank you You will never be judged by who you want to be I would no sooner hurt you than I would me This life could be more fun, you must agree Come do something about that and you’ll see Please and thank you 2013.02.19

Creative Commons License
Please and Thank You by Ashley Pond V is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution 3.0 Unported License.
Based on a work at http://sedition.com/a/3311.

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Tax Day

Monday, 15 April 2013

Just got a lot less comfortable being a tax protestor I suppose.

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Dear American Gun Debaters,

Wednesday, 3 April 2013

Most of you would rather read about a woman getting raped than see a woman open-carry a firearm.

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Dorsal anatomical expertise in carcharhiniformes

Monday, 1 April 2013

Google’s annual sporting event.

GOOGLE HAS IT.

To paraphrase one of the masters: Promise something. Kill me right away if I start to browse on April first.

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MAI PERL PEEPS #1

Wednesday, 27 March 2013

FOOTNOTE. LIKE A BOSS.

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As American as gun’n’cars

Thursday, 21 March 2013

All it would take to fix the other issue is a national 30mph speed limit cap. I think it’s a great idea. I don’t know why you insist another million Americans die for no reason. Oh, yeah, it’s called the motherfucking cost of doing business. High speed limits save more than they cost. Most all freedom does.

Want to be really clear: the photographer’s opinion, views, etc are not reflected here. The image was under a CC license and he has no idea what’s been done here. Also, it’s edited significantly.
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Britney Spears on the cover of Rolling Stone again

Wednesday, 13 March 2013

Kind of a surprise to see Britney Spears on the cover of Rolling Stone these days. Good for her. I wonder why she got breast reduction surgery though.

Why did Britney Spears get breast reduction surgery?

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Dear Tim Burton,

Sunday, 17 February 2013

Frankenweenie

Thanks a lot for making my 5 year-old cry—and me the bad guy—when I declined to dig up our recently deceased cat to reverse-electrocute last night. A+ messaging there, asshole.

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Questions from the chalkboard #7: All too well titled for America

Saturday, 16 February 2013

Hey Sedition,

In your honest opinion, do you think America is headed for fiery bloody doom or do we have a fighting chance to make it through this century?

You neglect option C: with a whimper.

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I had the password to the CC Motel at Amazon.com…

Friday, 11 January 2013

…and I had unfettered and unaudited access to the full customer database, all email, refunds, gift-certificates, catalog records, celebrities’ addresses and shopping lists, and chargebacks. I think I can be trusted with some dead guy’s X-ray.

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Lost notes #2: on your left-leaning, liberal, education-centric politics

Friday, 28 December 2012

Date: Fri, 8 Oct 2010 08:53:15 -0700
Subject: on your left-leaning, liberal, education-centric politics

If power corrupts wouldn’t you have to agree that an inept, borderline retarded, governance would be superior to a cagey, well-organized, skilled one?

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You know who plays Stratocasters?

Tuesday, 11 December 2012

You know who plays Strats?

Wife beaters, that’s who.

Ike Turner—wife beater and Strat player

Via.

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Just saying, #1

Tuesday, 20 November 2012

Elmo—Fruitables

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Fuck yeah jQuery #1

Sunday, 18 November 2012

Clear a form with the reset button.

<script type="text/javascript">
jQuery(function($){
  $("input[type=reset]").click(function(){
     $(this).closest("form")
            .find(":input")
            .not(":button, :submit, :reset, :hidden")
            .val("")
            .removeAttr("checked")
            .removeAttr("selected");
     return false;
  });
});
</script>

Needs citation… I cannot remember where I picked most/all of this up. HURR.

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Obama and American youth

Saturday, 17 November 2012

Here is a cute picture of our President with a 16 year-old girl!

Maroney & Obama

And here is another!

Beautiful dress!

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I HAZ AN APOLOGEE FOR TEH WERLD DIS ELEKSHUN NITE -- OSRRIES!

Tuesday, 6 November 2012

WE DOAN ALL WAN TTO KILL YOOS.

ONLY LIEK 88% OV US.

SO UH, ENJOY PRESIDENT MCKILLSTAIN. OH, WUT? TEH RESULTS ARENT IN YET? HOW TEH F&^% BOUT DAT..

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This week in the news #75

Monday, 29 October 2012

Obama Suggests ‘Secretary of Business’ in a 2nd Term

President Barack Obama signaled if he wins a second term he would appoint a Secretary of Business to oversee newly-consolidated government agencies, including the Small Business Administration, and predicted “a war” will break out within the Republican Party after the Nov. 6 election. Washington Wire, Carol E. Lee, blogs.wsj.com

It’s not just the Right that’s dedicated to emulating Atlas Shrugged. Of course they at least have the illusion that they’re the protagonists.

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Art school

Saturday, 27 October 2012

Via.

Art School is full of tools

Oh, I think you were a tool before art school.

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My new album hits the shops…

Wednesday, 3 October 2012

…never. But here’s the jacket anyway.

Have a drink by Boner Petit

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Halloween early tip

Monday, 1 October 2012

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