How high the ratio of his accusers to actresses whose careers have mystified me is.

<EOM>

Not getting up and walking out of church in the middle of the sermon when I was 17 and the new Pastor went off the fucking rails.

Not telling Paige that she was perhaps the least attractive woman working at Amazon and her misunderstanding of my Clinton/Lewinsky pun making her and her hippy, loser boyfriend think that I might actually be interested in her was a thousand times more offensive than the close-up photo of a hirsute pussy tattooed like Castro with the woman holding a cigar to her cooter that she had emailed me 10 minutes before my joke.

Not manning up in that parking lot when I was buying a teddy bear for Marlene and ______ told me what she told me in the way that my treatment of her forced her.

…in their suicide note are maybe doing you the biggest favor they ever did.

The reason might be you. The reason might be compelling. The reason might sit in the soft loam like an acorn in the shady green depths of your soul.

The reason might be much, much worse than never knowing.

If all y’all had just ignored the white nationalists today, no one would be dead and they would have had no publicity.

trivago

…than someone asserting there is no free will?

Don’t see it? Everything you ever loved, you didn’t. You had no choice. Everything good you ever did, nope, you didn’t. Everything you ever cried over, laughed about, reveled in… It was meaningless.

No free will means you are meaningless. Saying it’s so is the same as calling everyone meaningless.

Might want to keep it to yourself around me. A lot of love, reveling, and good deeds sometimes purchased at high cost. Smear them if you must but understand, if there really is no free will then whatever happens to you after you assert it… Well, I shall have no choice in the matter.

TRUMP CALLED RODRIGO DUTERTE TO CONGRATULATE HIM ON HIS MURDEROUS DRUG WAR: “YOU ARE DOING AN AMAZING JOB”

If this is true… If this is true…

Since Duterte took office in June, Philippine national police and vigilante death squads have embarked on a campaign to slaughter drug users as well as drug dealers. “Hitler massacred three million Jews [sic], now, there’s three million drug addicts. I’d be happy to slaughter them,” he said in September. [ibid]

If this is true, Trump is the biggest piece of shit that has ever refused to flush in the American toilet bowl. Explains Sessions though. I guess.

When Trump is shot—or defeated in 2020 by a Hispanic lesbian Democrat—I will drink all the toasts I can manage. I long for the day I can buy a ticket to the city in which he is interred so I can piss on his grave. If this is true.

If not… I’ll call the first toast or two enough.

I try to do The Right Thing®. I shop U.S.A.!!! But I’m telling you… I think I’m’a shop Chinese for cockrings going forward.

Also… how does Chrome not recognize “cockring” as a valid word? What the fuck year is this, 1952?

Don’t say, “You mean Christmas?” Don’t say, “You mean Christmas?” Don’t say, “You mean Christmas?” You mean Christmas? …D’Oh!

Sexist. I meant sexist. Don’t pretend you didn’t know what I meant.

After Amy, Patti and Ron, Chel–sea, the drinky McWondertwins, the chronic gone girls with the power of invisibility given by media in love…

It’s nice is all I’m saying. Just once in my lifetime. To have a stone fox, sexpot first daughter. For once in American history!

I am positive the allegations of incest are exaggerated and that when Trump said, ”If Ivanka weren’t my daughter, perhaps I’d be dating her,” he meant it. Nothing ever happened. He’s never touched her. He just fantasizes about it when he bangs the poor girl’s stepmother.

If Israeli Jews are to retain their homeland—while rejecting a two-state solution to the “Palestinian Problem”—based on nothing but the fact that it is their homeland, I submit: Every Israeli must take a DNA test; every Palestinian too. Those who most closely match any bones from 5,000 year old burial sites… say, within 90% or else we’re not letting in the Chosen really, they are, alone, allowed to stay.

If I did not respond to your rebuttal comment in some way, anywhere, any social media, comment board, or forum, private message, email, then I did not read your reply.

I have never had trouble walking out of a movie I was not enjoying. I’ve put down 500 page books at page 478. I have less trouble ignoring a thread after I had my say. Your last word was self-abuse.

Trump’s SecDef Pick Gen. Mattis Says Iraq War Was Probably A “Mistake”

Yeah… a million died, and five or six million refugees created, a couple trillion dollars flushed, a few thousand dead Americans plus several tens of thousands fucked up forever, and add to that we achieved the exact opposite of our goal. Region is destabilized, semi-permanently, and terrorism has grown seven-fold. So, jury’s out, but it was probably a mistake.

I’ve stumbled around this truth for decades. Suggesting that you should consider what a world of your literal peers would be like, etc. Never hitting the bullseye.

The problem with your worldview is it assumes that other persons will be different from you. It requires that other persons will be different from you.

No? You don’t see the problem.

I don’t want to be a janitor, but I wouldn’t mind so much. There are no lousy jobs, only lousy persons. And I don’t piss on the seat or leave a clogged toilet for someone else to handle.

I don’t want to be a satellite engineer but it’s not beyond me and I wouldn’t mind so much I guess. I don’t want to work a deli counter but I’ve done it and it’s not that much worse than a 150 ticket deep bug queue with customers getting antsy and angry. I don’t want to fix cars or teevees or toasters but working with your hands is pretty nice and engaging after all and who doesn’t love a good mystery? I don’t want to be a hunter or a farmer but I do love seeing living things and the world around them so I could learn to love it. I don’t want to be a gaffer but I could get used to being the one the director isn’t mad at every day.

You see where this is going.

The problem with your worldview is not primarily that it requires guns and prisons to achieve but that it requires someone else to do the things you wouldn’t, couldn’t.

I don’t hate anyone really. I do, however, wish with everything there is, that each of you could have the world you think you want but every one of the 7 billion inhabitants would be you. Then, I think, you wouldn’t have any rebuttals, just apologies and a perspective that might be interesting and helpful to anyone besides yourself.

O’S NEW YEAR TAUNT: I WOULD HAVE BEAT TRUMP!

A 3 day-old bagel would have beaten Trump. But your asshole party chose to run the only unelectable Democrat in the entire stable. A half-black man with nearly no qualifications, a shit record, and half the verbal gaffes of the second dumbest Bush—sorry, Neil—beat her in the primaries. How could you fools have thought you could force her down anyone’s but Monica’s throat?

Korean Air to get tougher on unruly passengers and ease stun gun rules

[After] criticism from U.S. singer Richard Marx for its handling of an incident involving a violent passenger … Marx’s wife, Daisy Fuentes…

WHAT?! I have no friends and the media has never done its job for a moment. How on God’s green Earth did I not know Daisy Fuentes was married to Richard Marx.

Sidenote: Generations Y–Millennial, I know you don’t get it. That’s not why you’re disliked. It doesn’t help either.

Being a Secret Service agent on the Presidential protection detail gets a lot more demanding in January. Sorry, fellas.

12 YEAR-OLD BOY

(Getting tucked in on a hot and humid Florida Keys’ night.)

It’s too human.

DAD

Humid?

12 YEAR-OLD BOY

Human.

DAD

Well, believe it or not I tried quite hard to change into an insect when I was younger but I couldn’t pull it off.

12 YEAR-OLD BOY

That’s too bad.

DAD

I’ll try harder.

12 YEAR-OLD BOY

Yay.

DAD

Maybe you shouldn’t be too happy. Some insects eat their babies.

12 YEAR-OLD BOY

That would be fun! I want to see the inside of your digestive system.

It’s also how smooth he is or isn’t.

If you have never completely sympathized with Vincent Willem van Gogh for cutting off part of his ear and mailing it to a whore, you have never in your life been particularly high or drunk.

If you don’t know me personally, you don’t know I think U2 is the worst, least talented, most hackish band that has ever attained commercial and popular success. And to put that in perspective, I’m aware of the entire catalog of Oasis.