If you have never completely sympathized with Vincent Willem van Gogh for cutting off his ear and mailing it to a whore, you have never in your life been particularly high or drunk.

If you don’t know me personally, you don’t know I think U2 is the worst, least talented, most hackish band that has ever attained commercial and popular success. And to put that in perspective, I’m aware of the entire catalog of Oasis.

DRENCHED IN THE PERFUME OF MY ENEMIES.

BLOOD. BLOOD IS WHAT I MEANT. I MEAN, OBVIOUSLY. RIGHT?

Speaking of being polite online. And to think I almost wimped out on posting this.

Additionally–

Her husband killed 80 innocent persons going about daily life, 35 of them were children, exactly one week ago. Children. So many children killed by this man and this neoconservative bullshit painted Blue.

I do not give a fuck what Michelle Fucking Obama says about anything until they both apologize and end the wars. And then I hate them both a tiny amount less if they never show their murderous faces in public again.

Nice attack: At least 80 dead, including 10 children, as lorry rams into crowd

You know what else killed 80 innocent persons just going about their day this week, including quite a few more than 10 children? A single one of president Obama’s thousands of drone strikes. Another at a funeral in Pakistan killed 10 kids coincidentally.

Amazon CEO Jeff Bezos Gets Cameo in Star Trek Beyond

Chris Pine, who plays Kirk, had this to say: “I was there for the bit with his like nine bodyguards and three limos. It was really intense. I had no idea who he was. Not a clue. But he was obviously very important.”

He never choked Olivia Munn to orgasm so how important could he be?

R u illiterate?

If your courage and self-confidence are grounded in someone else’s love, support, and nurturing, you have no courage or self-confidence, just gaping sores covered with extremely sticky Band-Aid®s which circumstances, or someone else, could rip away at any moment.

That is not Seattle rain. Seattle rain is like a chronic illness.

It is not direct. It does not pour.

It’s slow. It’s weak. It’s an insidious misting. Entering your pores through osmosis, not force. It’s insistent, yes, but it’s strong perhaps once a year. Perhaps. The other 282 days it’s a hazy disease. A lack of light. A voice in your head so quiet you don’t hear what it says until the shotgun is in your lap and understanding is your crown.

That said, I have a call out. Brent Sexton was solid in Justified. He’s solid gold in The Killing.

I’ve told some hurtful tales in my day.

I wonder if anyone has hurtful tales about me they’re sitting on. I wonder if I’ll be able to take it or if it will truly, mortally wound.

You know, I realize that Guns N’ Roses, and Axl, might be hard to take seriously and they had only 3½ albums that were worth a goddamn and that includes the good stuff off The Spaghetti Incident? and both Use Your Illusion platters and that it was all 25 fucking years ago.

…but AC/DC, in the 43 years it’s continually existed, has only 2½ albums worthanywhile, now comprises exactly one original member, and its most recent music to be even remotely taken seriously was more than 30 fucking years ago… and, and!, 1¼ of those 2½ albums were largely the responsibility of a man who has been dead for 36 years.

Overheard on the tumblrs–

I remember when—in second grade at recess—Carla kicked me in the shin; so keenly.

You supposed feminists who want equality with men so badly but refuse to understand men, or what actual, literal equality with us might mean, at all.

You ever wonder, Did God have consent…?

A beer bottle can stick in a stucco wall just like a knife in pine if you throw it hard enough. Even from like 20 yards. Even like 30 feet up the wall. But you can potentially laugh yourself into a problem if that beer had many, many siblings. Ah… good times.

Something must be done! We must act now! If we do not change, the damage will continue!

These are not plans. These are nothing. Worse than nothing, chanting them, forwarding them, sharing them makes you think you are doing something. Makes you think you are righteous. Makes you think you are smart and caring; smarter and more caring than anyone who disagrees with… well, with the nothingness to which you adhere.

Planning, a parable

Child is drowning. Help! Help! cry the people of Cityton. Do something!

What? says the hero.

Do something! Anything! Something must be done!

Well, reasons the hero, the water is obviously killing the child. I shall drain the ocean.

And that is how the population of Cityton shrank by one and the once scenic coastline was ruined forever.

Something must be done is not a plan and action taken out of panic, fear, and prejudice will always backfire. I do not think you care though. You just want to go back to feeling that you are more caring and smarter than the neighbor who did not disagree there was a problem but attempted to approach it rationally and realistically.

Someone I was very close with in high school recently had her ex say some super shitty stuff to her. She posted on FB for some positive feedback because it was the kind of thing that is hard to shake off from someone who shared your bed and commingled DNA.

Though we had something of a falling out once that hurt me much more than she would believe, I still remember the other parts. I came to her aid with, I think, the right words. Damning the speaker without any attack just on the fact that one must be ugly, torn, inside to say something like that. Other friends thought I was on the right track, likes and all, and there were many there to ameliorate in similar ways.

Thing is… I said entirely similar super shitty stuff about one of her current and continuing—unlike me—best friends here on these pages. Namely, I called the woman a whore.

I am the same person who said both things. Less angry, but nothing essentially different and if I have not pulled the piece, I have not recanted and stand by what I said, such as it is; was.

Bothered me. Bothered me quite a lot. Lasted all of two minutes.

Whatever else I am, harsh, nasty, angry. I never once encouraged, advised, or tried to cajole any friend, male or female, to duplicity. To cheat. To lie. To revenge. I hate it as much in the men I would be friends to as I do in the women who have shared my bed. Never.

Maybe there was some ugliness in me that chose that word when I used it. My moral compass continues to point to it being in the right territory no matter what kicked it out of me.

These “Drone Papers” show, among other disclosures, that the U.S. government has been lying about the number of civilian deaths caused by drone strikes in Afghanistan,Yemen, and Somalia. For every targeted individual assassinated, another five or six non-targeted individuals are killed – giving the lie to the Obama administration’s long-standing claims of careful, precision killing of specific targets in order to avoid killing civilians.

AntiWar.com: NY Times Buries Intercept Whistleblower’s Shocking Drone War Disclosures

It’ll pass but this moment, this minute, I hate y’all. Arguing about minimum wage, Confederate flags… gun control.

DAUGHTER

(Has been asked to go brush her teeth and get in bed with a book.)

I don’t know why I have to go to bed so early. I told everyone at school that I go to bed at 9:30 and they laughed at me and said they get to stay up till 11:00.

DAD

Oh… Are they reading five grades ahead? Are they doing math two grades ahead? Are any of them as good at math and reading as you are?

DAUGHTER

…No.

DAD

And these kids, they are all older than you are?

DAUGHTER

…Yes.

DAD

Well, that solves the mystery of why you go to bed at 9:30!

Knowing why would be harder than not knowing.

My very attractive cousin recently said of my looks to me, “…you could beat Brad Pitt hands down. ;)”

Lolo? ...Is she from Hawaii? That would be awful. Oh, I see she's from Iowa where "lolo" is not slang for "insane in the membrane." Well, that's excellent then.