Planning

Thursday, 3 December 2015

Something must be done! We must act now! If we do not change, the damage will continue!

These are not plans. These are nothing. Worse than nothing, chanting them, forwarding them, sharing them makes you think you are doing something. Makes you think you are righteous. Makes you think you are smart and caring; smarter and more caring than anyone who disagrees with… well, with the nothingness to which you adhere.


Planning, a parable

Child is drowning. Help! Help! cry the people of Cityton. Do something!

What? says the hero.

Do something! Anything! Something must be done!

Well, reasons the hero, the water is obviously killing the child. I shall drain the ocean.

And that is how the population of Cityton shrank by one and the once scenic coastline was ruined forever.


Something must be done is not a plan and action taken out of panic, fear, and prejudice will always backfire. I do not think you care though. You just want to go back to feeling that you are more caring and smarter than the neighbor who did not disagree there was a problem but attempted to approach it rationally and realistically.

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The Great Lengths of HOPE, take 57,631

Thursday, 5 November 2015

These “Drone Papers” show, among other disclosures, that the U.S. government has been lying about the number of civilian deaths caused by drone strikes in Afghanistan,Yemen, and Somalia. For every targeted individual assassinated, another five or six non-targeted individuals are killed – giving the lie to the Obama administration’s long-standing claims of careful, precision killing of specific targets in order to avoid killing civilians.

AntiWar.com: NY Times Buries Intercept Whistleblower’s Shocking Drone War Disclosures

It’ll pass but this moment, this minute, I hate y’all. Arguing about minimum wage, Confederate flags… gun control.

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Drudge is, as usual, about 7 years behind

Tuesday, 13 October 2015

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The many mysteries of parenting —or— Dad moves in mysterious ways

Sunday, 13 September 2015

DAUGHTER

(Has been asked to go brush her teeth and get in bed with a book.)

I don’t know why I have to go to bed so early. I told everyone at school that I go to bed at 9:30 and they laughed at me and said they get to stay up till 11:00.

DAD

Oh… Are they reading five grades ahead? Are they doing math two grades ahead? Are any of them as good at math and reading as you are?

DAUGHTER

…No.

DAD

And these kids, they are all older than you are?

DAUGHTER

…Yes.

DAD

Well, that solves the mystery of why you go to bed at 9:30!

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Rough draft for a suicide note #1

Wednesday, 9 September 2015

Knowing why would be harder than not knowing.

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I don’t care #2: so what if I’m 17 years older than that photograph?

Saturday, 5 September 2015

My very attractive cousin recently said of my looks to me, “…you could beat Brad Pitt hands down. ;)”

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PTA #1

Friday, 6 March 2015

PTA: Watch this video on Sexual Misconduct.

Me: Pffff. Lessons? How hard could it be?

PTA: ಠ_ಠ

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I don’t care #1

Sunday, 1 March 2015

I don’t care what anybody says.

Patricia Michaels said her cousin was an idiot for dumping me and that’s the only thing in the world that matters.

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Almost

Tuesday, 3 February 2015

Who are some (dare we say Public) Americans that you like? They can’t all be dead, right?

I like everyone, almost. Having snacks and talking culture, TexMexicana, and anecdotes with George W would be a blast, for example. A really likeable, friendly man. Just because I think his presidency was disastrous and I wouldn’t endorse him for anything more powerful than dog catcher doesn’t mean I wouldn’t like him. That is obviously not quite what you mean though. I had this conversation a few days ago and was pressed: Well, then, who on Earth shares your politics?

You don’t have to be Tom Paine / To be my girl. You just have to be honest and willing to indulge in self-reflection and the possibility of self-improvement from said examination turning up bad data. 90% of Americans would agree with me on nearly every single point of politics if they could accept that some of the things they think are true actually bring about the opposite of what they want. Nearly no one wants suffering or poverty or disease or violence for their neighbors. Only about 10% are willing to understand and accept that a little bit is just the cost of the doing business, it doesn’t mean one doesn’t care, it means it cannot ever be erased completely and that trying to bring that little bit down to zero is, in light of all evidence going on hundreds of years, exactly what ensures it becomes well fed, breeds, expands, and starts to claim 10 times its natural habitat.

Needed to update to say that the 80% or so who agree with me about the desired ends but not the means have an incredibly simple fact to learn that for some reason is nearly impossible for some to absorb: You cannot force the world to be good, or even better. Introducing force toward that end is guaranteed to achieve the opposite.

Politics draws exactly the wrong kind of personality and the nature of the game means even the “good” folks who make it in—this definitely includes cops among those with power over others—tend to end up acting lousy; see SPE. Only a dozen or so that I know in my lifetime I think belong there. The country has millions of engineers, cooks, pilots, janitors, scientists, students, nurses, clerks, etc who I think are damn swell persons without anything more in particular to learn about the game and would make wonderful friends or acquaintances. There is a long term problem with the fact of power’s self-organizing trait and this other attitude of be good in your sphere and live and let live. We’re just seeing it become completely unashamed as well.

Too big to fail has a corollary: Too small to succeed.

I would not enjoy a beer with Barack. Cool name aside, he strikes me as a particularly unpersonable, morose jackass with nothing to talk about except himself and his career and nothing interesting to say about anything at all.

Pretty sure I like you. :P Don’t let either of us down!

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Perl Sucks, a quiz

Monday, 2 February 2015

Make your selection–

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I think I’m finally going to finish my whiskey tasting app

Wednesday, 21 January 2015

Because it would have been nice if someone had told me that Jim Beam has the aftertaste of soap.

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No results found for "best fossil hunting in america"

Saturday, 20 December 2014

Fuck you, Google. Fuck you, America. You all let me down; always; all of you.

Best Fossil Hunting in America: 0 results.

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$74 million? …fuck you, NASA

Wednesday, 24 September 2014

H-1B visas don’t seem so silly all of the sudden.

India’s mission to Mars
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Fuck it

Monday, 15 September 2014

The site was never actually down. I just pulled the top page. Have it back. What good it’ll do ya’.

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My buttons and I despise “Hills Like White Elephants” precisely because it’s so motherfucking effective

Tuesday, 13 May 2014

I admit it. My buttons are circled in neon lime and are bigger than Natalie Portman’s nipples.

Still.

Today some emo twat on FB called Ernest Miller dead *and* crap for dialog. ¿That shit?

And to back up his point he presented, as an alternative, a modern author whose critically acclaimed best-seller has a title which apes The Short Happy Life of Francis Macomber.

Y’all know I’d enjoy prison, yeah? Get some fucking writing done.

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Suggested slogans for match.com

Monday, 10 February 2014

  • Isn’t it time you settled?
  • You can’t hit snooze on your biological clock forever.
  • You don’t have to answer every question in your profile truthfully … he didn’t!
  • You’re not getting any younger, you know.
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Overheard at work #1

Sunday, 15 December 2013

You ever see that Wire show? It’s not bullshit like CSI. It’s like real life. It’s like how shit goes down.

White guy in suit taking a break between sales’ calls
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Unlikely to remain

Sunday, 8 September 2013

Sorry for the live tests but better than dead tests.

What?

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Please and Thank You, my 420 present to the world

Saturday, 20 April 2013

I don’t like pot as I think I’ve gone to great lengths to establish. I’m not trying to protect myself or present a false front and it’s not that I don’t like things. Lord no. I will use canned air on the empty bottle of hydrocodone to get the last dust. I will lick the underside of that cowpie smooth before I let a microgram of psilocybin bearing fungus escape back to the Earth. And they don’t call me the fifth for my love of bourbon but some enterprising biographer will make it funny someday.

I just don’t like marijuana. Not my cup of green tea.

Which is strange because I wrote a love song to Mary Jane recently. I like the lyrics pretty well but I know I’ll never record it and probably never perform it since the music for it is too close to another song I am going to keep and play.

So, it’s yours. Attribution only Creative Commons license.

Please and Thank You

Delightfully high, minding my own business Thank you My yard is groomed, my car is well parked yes Thank you I’m no threat to you or society I’m as friendly as a friend can be Innocuous is my middle name I like you and I hope you feel the same Please and thank you Higher than fuck, has just been my luck Thank you Inquiring minds are the better to find with Thank you My friends are polite and all smell nice My wares are worth their cost at twice the price I bet we’d get along given half a chance If you do change your mind, my arms remain askance Please and thank you It’s a pleasure dome, when I get home from work Thank you Why is it so hard to believe one can coexist with weed Thank you My neighbors have never needed to call the police You think I’d warrant one try at least All company is pleasant and you are more than welcome Say what you want but don’t say you’ll never come around Please and thank you Oh, I do tend to forget, but have no regrets Thank you Are we here to be happy or treat each other like crap Thank you You will never be judged by who you want to be I would no sooner hurt you than I would me This life could be more fun, you must agree Come do something about that and you’ll see Please and thank you 2013.02.19

Creative Commons License
Please and Thank You by Ashley Pond V is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution 3.0 Unported License.
Based on a work at http://sedition.com/a/3311.

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Tax Day

Monday, 15 April 2013

Just got a lot less comfortable being a tax protestor I suppose.

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Dear American Gun Debaters,

Wednesday, 3 April 2013

Most of you would rather read about a woman getting raped than see a woman open-carry a firearm.

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Dorsal anatomical expertise in carcharhiniformes

Monday, 1 April 2013

Google’s annual sporting event.

GOOGLE HAS IT.

To paraphrase one of the masters: Promise something. Kill me right away if I start to browse on April first.

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MAI PERL PEEPS #1

Wednesday, 27 March 2013

FOOTNOTE. LIKE A BOSS.

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As American as gun’n’cars

Thursday, 21 March 2013

All it would take to fix the other issue is a national 30mph speed limit cap. I think it’s a great idea. I don’t know why you insist another million Americans die for no reason. Oh, yeah, it’s called the motherfucking cost of doing business. High speed limits save more than they cost. Most all freedom does.

Want to be really clear: the photographer’s opinion, views, etc are not reflected here. The image was under a CC license and he has no idea what’s been done here. Also, it’s edited significantly.
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Britney Spears on the cover of Rolling Stone again

Wednesday, 13 March 2013

Kind of a surprise to see Britney Spears on the cover of Rolling Stone these days. Good for her. I wonder why she got breast reduction surgery though.

Why did Britney Spears get breast reduction surgery?

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