The Viagra® commercial you won’t see next Superbowl

Tuesday, 9 November 2004

EXT, AFTERNOON DAYLIGHT, PARK, MEDIUM SHOT. A husband, JIM, 40, handsome, athletic, clean shaven, sits on a picnic blanket with his wife, DORRIS. She is blond, 40 but looks 50, or maybe 55, probably was really good looking once.

JIM is wearing a pale blue Oxford, open to his chest. DORRIS has on a tennis bracelet with about 50 carats of pure DeBeers. The picnic spread is crystal and silver.


(Handing Jim a glass of zinfandel.)

I noticed Jim wasn’t looking at me the same way anymore.


I know relationships have their ups and downs. But, I mean, I love being married to my wife…

LONGSHOT. Visible now is a Rolls Royce limosine, a mini-buffet, and a beautiful 19 year-old Latina, CARMELA, in a maid’s uniform tending a silver chafing dish.


It was time to face facts. I hadn’t had a natural erection in the nude company of my wife for 10 years and the amyl nitrate was starting to do me harm.


(Setting her wine glass down.)

Without putting too fine a point on it, I reminded Jim that his prenuptual agreement would come into play if he didn’t start holding up his end of the marriage.

CLOSE UP of CARMELA, blushing and looking away.


So, I asked my doctor about Viagra.

ZOOM OUT, EXTREME LONG SHOT of the picnic party. They are on the most beautiful hilltop imaginable. Birds chirp in the background, the sun is starting to set and the deepening cerulean sky is shot with rays of pink and green. The world is supremely beautiful.


You don’t have to find her attractive. You don’t have to be in love. You don’t even need the desire to lay her. You just need one little blue pill. Ask your doctor about it today.


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