I’m the Mack

Tuesday, 1 March 2005

Sung to the tune of “I’m the Map,” from Dora the Explorer.

If there’s some grass you gotta mow
Or a ho that needs some blow
I’m the Mack

I’m the Mack, I’m the Mack

If there’s some shit you’re gonna sweat
I can fix you right, I bet
I’m the Mack

I’m the Mack, I’m the Mack
I’m the Mack, I’m the Mack
I’m the Mack, I’m the Mack
I’m the Mack

I’m the Mack!

I apologize… sort of. We always liked Dora but the Pokémon cum Star-Cashier, I mean Catcher, merchandising tie-in blitz that began this season is really just wrong.

And speaking of going to Hell. If you’re writing television for children and you find yourself saying, We could add missions to “get stuff” and a new character, to support a whole line of toys, clothes, and candy in the stores by Thanksgiving, stop. Go home, eat a bottle of Tylenol PM with a Vodka chaser, and put a trash bag over your head.

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