My place in the world according to Google

Monday, 21 March 2005

Selected Google ranks by search term. Ranks are the number of the result on Google when we checked. “#1” means it’s the first in the results of the search. Links are to the Sedition·com page found. Click on the currency character (¤) to repeat the Google search.

kill all Americans

#1 with a bullet, kill all Americans ¤
I glow like a pregnant woman. My chest swells like the father of a girl named Truth. I brag about my genitals and their ability to defeat birth control. I lay roses on the grave of Thomas Paine.
#4, young nude girls ¤
Suckers. I must remark that my young nudists returned to the creek a week ago but the ring leader failed in her entreaties to get the other two au natural. I admit I haven’t been in church lately so I accept the punishment and intend to repent the first Sunday I manage to stay sober till noon.
#3, how to make a nuclear bomb ¤
Another nuclear attack on civilians is inevitable given human nature and the years we’ll have the chance. It would be bad. It wouldn’t be any worse than firebombing 67 civilian cities, though, and that’s what you need to learn for it to matter either way.
#1, problems with America ¤
I had to go and be fucking clever on that one. No one got it. Way to go, asshole.
#67, white trash ¤
This is really lower than I’d like though I didn’t write that one. Sadly, I’m a good cook, I split my drinking between the Emerald Isle and Kentucky 70:30, my dog lives inside, my gggggggggggg-grandfather was the captain of the Speedwell and his brother was first-mate on the Mayflower, and I’ve been above the poverty line—as far as the government is concerned—for 4 years according to my latest we-know-what-you-make letter from the Social Security.
Still it doesn’t seem fair and I feel compelled to try. Um, I don’t think Budweiser is that bad and Miller is positively tolerable. How’s that?
#16, cunt ¤
This one is like potato chips or tattoos. Once you say it in public, breaking the hymen, if you will, that held you back from using it for 20 years of civilized adulthood, it starts to be a bit of a compulsion.
#1, blog threat ¤
Since we’re getting all chummy it’s time I told you, it wasn’t a humor piece.
#1, random quote cgi ¤
Well, it’s not all c-bombs and celebrity hate mail.
#2, how to write a suicide note ¤
I’m glad this came up today because no matter how much you rationalize, Ms Bremmer, when a 14 year-old, no matter how brilliant he was, kills himself in the family home with a firearm it’s the parents’ fault. That guilty voice telling you there was more you could have done is right. You can start this list with locking up the guns and end it with making emotional health a priority over academics.
#5, vagitarian ¤
Last one, I promise. It is worth picking up a little Latin in life.
#1, Christo project ¤
Well, that didn’t take long.
#1, indications homosexual ¤
Didn’t write it—CM did—wish I had.
#2, MILF meaning ¤
Oh, I won’t shy from having penned that one. JFCIREDTSSMBTBSDTFTVSPSBCYCM indeed.
#2, Romance Novel Excerpt ¤
I think I’ve been lampooning the wrong things. The political ones are done to death. Blogging is ripe for the poking.
#1, never take an IQ test ¤
Really. Don’t.
#2, Bush is not Hitler ¤
It’s not that this one is so great that I want to direct you to it, it’s that I worked on that image a bit. Go enjoy it and don’t even read the piece.
#1, “biggest problems” ¤
Gotta end on a high note.
#0 (not ranked), the day i tried to live ¤
Not ranked. I just want it in there somewhere. It matters. Fuck them for not keeping it together. Audioslave? What the fuck? I came to Seattle for you, Chris, you loser. You too Eddie-all-my-friends-are-60-year-old-has-beens Vedder.
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