I have a theory

Saturday, 26 March 2005

Your view of knowledge For a long time I have had a theory that the dimensions of space are integral with time. This “space time” is warped by mass which explains previously mysterious anomalies of gravity like the long-known precession of Mercury’s orbit. But it’s just a theory.

I have a theory that gravity is weaker than the nuclear forces because it doesn’t pull my blood right outta my skin. But it’s just a theory.

I even have a theory that half an eye is better than no eye and that a multi-celled animal that happens to move out of direct light, by whatever mechanism, is going to have better odds for getting it on that night.

You surmise that an intelligent individual should quickly realize evolution’s veracity yet you fail to provide any new evidence. Kelly Olson (LA, CA), Forum, “National Geographic,” March, 2005

New evidence? Jane, you ignorant slut.

Are you aware of the 150 Years Worth of Evidence already on the books? If you don’t know what a Mendel Square is, and you can’t describe what the KT boundary represents, and you can’t explain how humans managed to get 500 breeds of dog out of the wolf in just a few hundred years or why the potato famine McInundated the US with immigrants, you don’t get to have a fucking opinion. Get it? You are ignorant of the entire field and unlike most ignorant people, you don’t have the self-preservation instinct that makes you contract your ventral tract sphincter.

I’ll sum up what the editors of a polite magazine printed for family consumption can’t: only someone who is actively working on remaining ignorant would be unable to understand evolution’s shriekingly obvious veracity which was so clearly correct that it was accepted by the worldwide scientific community 100 years ago. Saying the theory of gravity is “just a theory” won’t save you from the concrete when you fall.

I’ll even point you to something that might clear up a few things just to show there’s no hard feelings: 15 Answers to Creationist Nonsense. I’ll beat you dumb bastards down one at a time if it takes me 6,000 years.

The greatest part about it is that even were I wrong by some magical, insane, byzantine scheme straight off the drafting table of the Master of Lies, I’ll see you in Hell because you don’t follow your own religion any better than you did high school biology.

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