The Pope is not dead

Saturday, 2 April 2005

ASHLEY

The Pope, man. Where did we go wrong? Seems like just yesterday we were setting fire to Barnaby’s underwears.

BARNABY

That was yesterday!

ASHLEY

This one’s for you.

I got mad at The Pope
For screwing up the Papal caper
I hope I don’t see his name in the paper (NEIL: Il Corriere della Sera?)
In the obituaries, cause that would mean he’s dead

The Pope is not dead
I’m so glad The Pope is not dead
The Pope is not dead (NEIL: Dead!)
I’m so glad The Pope is not dead
The Pope is not dead (BARNABY: Dead!)
I’m so glad The Pope is not–

ASHLEY

Just the claps! Just the claps! Barnaby, I didn’t
know you had any rhythm.

BARNABY

Oh sure, I got tons of rhythm.

ASHLEY

All right guys, keep it rollin’ for me. Keep it rollin! Come on!

I cracked wise at The Pope
But in my defense he cracked wise at me first
I hope he doesn’t end up in a hearse
At the cemetery, ’cause once again that would mean that he’s dead

[CHOIR]
The Pope is not dead
I’m so glad The Pope is not dead
The Pope is not dead (Whoa, where’d this choir come from?)
I’m so glad The Pope is not dead
The Pope is not dead (You guys sound great!)
I’m so glad The Pope is not dead
The Pope is not dead
I’m so glad The Pope is not dead
The Pope is not dead
I’m so glad The Pope is not dead
The Pope is not dead
I’m so glad The Pope is not deeeaaad

Oooooooohhhhhh

If you made it this far you’re either amused or angry. If you’re angry I offer this–

I realize Karol Józef Wojtyła was a kind man who spoke Italian beautifully and tried to do what he thought was right. Good intentions and all that. I take no pleasure whatsoever in a kind old man’s illness and exit.

To insist that the various peoples of post-colonial Africa forgo the use of condoms where the median birth rate is often as high as 8.5 children and the HIV rate is often as high as 30% is… I mean, there is a point where it all stops being just stupid and becomes Evil.

And to think I doubted transubstantiation.

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