Egregious “Star Trek: The Next Generation” character development errors, #3

Wednesday, 20 December 2006

Klingon barf

The supposedly icky, spooky, or disturbing habits of alien races always reflect the most mundane and pusillanimous human fears. Klingons smell bad, eat worms, have rough sex, and hit each other for fun. Oooooh. How… horrible. And alien. There’s nothing like that on Terra! Certainly not in the Turkish district of Paris.

Not what any resident of Fairbanks would fear but what the average suburbanite Wasp soccer mom would. The basic demographic of science fiction writers.

If Klingons were really such hard-drinking, fast-living, ever-killin’ bastards, I’d like to see them drink till they vomit and then vomit into each other’s mouths to see who could guzzle the most vomit until someone passes out. Any left standing would be legally permitted, but not ethically bound, to kill all the weaklings who could not drink their vomit and remain standing. It would even explain their bad teeth.

You put that on film and you’d shut me up for a year at least.

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