The AFP reports, “Seattle most literate US city: study”

Tuesday, 6 December 2005

Seattle, the west coast haven of coffee, culture and the Arts has been named America’s most literate city.

I just want to cover three main points.

  1. One of the last times I was walking around downtown Seattle in the afternoon someone in a primer gray, ’70s model, American four-door pulled up outside the courthouse. The driver got out to piss on the curb in plain sight.
    1. I had a gun drawn on me in downtown Seattle at 1pm.
    2. I’ve never walked through the piers or the Market section of Seattle after dark without someone trying to sell me drugs.
    3. You can’t buy half of the cold and allergy medicines available without bringing a ticket up to the pharmacy because Seattle and surrounding areas are Meth Central, USA.
  2. My last manager at IMDb.com was a Christian who tried to bully me out of taking unpaid leave to care for my newborn daughter because it was woman’s work and my wife should be doing it.
  3. It snowed in Seattle last week. The local news station—my hand to God—had a crew on the street and they panned down to focus on 1/2 inch of slush in the road. Slack-jawed urban yokels agog with yet-another “Storm Watch.”

A man whose name was stolen by urban rednecks. More T1s than espresso shops does not uber-literate make.

The article did make the point that–

At the family level, even the simple step of turning on the closed captioning of TV sets can significantly improve literacy.

Hooray! and confirmation for foley folks everywhere (yes I’m talking to you, Bob—what’s the matter, don’t you get it?). The CC has been on almost non-stop since the birth of my kids as they won’t even look up for whatever murder and whoring is going on during Deadwood, Rome, Law & Order or anything else I watch with the volume off.

Also, if Dale Chihuly and Frank Gehry are “the Arts” then I’m the Space Pope. When you could catch Alice in Chains, Soundgarden, and Pearl Jam at The Crocodile in a given month was the last time there was any art worth scribbling about in this concrete village.

update

How could I forget #4!?

Seattle is the new Mecca, if you will, of a 200 year-old Frankenstein’s monster resurrected: Intelligent Design.

Of course Mein Kampf, Das Kapital, and Manufacturing Consent are books too. So “literate” isn’t necessarily a compliment.

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