SOME DOG ADVICE, AKA, SEND THIS TO SOMEONE YOU CARE ABOUT. . . I JUST DID !!!

Sunday, 19 February 2006

From: ! <desperate-4-housewives@sedition.com>
Date: Sun May 9, 2004 6:31:53 PM US/Pacific
To: XXXX XXXXXX <xxxxx@xxxx.xxx>
Subject: Re: Some Dog Advice


On Sunday, May 9, 2004, at 06:18 PM, XXXX XXXXXX wrote:
>
> THIS IS SOME GOOD ADVICE!
>
> If a dog was the teacher you would learn stuff like:
>
> When loved ones come home, always run to greet them.
>
> Never pass up the opportunity to go for a joyride.
>
> Allow the experience of fresh air and the wind in your face to
> be pure ecstasy.
>
> When it’s in your best interest, practice obedience.
>
> Let others know when they’ve invaded your territory.
>
> Take naps.
>
> Stretch before rising.
>
> Run, romp, and play daily.
>
> Thrive on attention and let people touch you.
>
> Avoid biting when a simple growl will do.
>
> On warm days, stop to lie on your back on the grass.
>
> On hot days, drink lots of water and lie under a shady tree.
>
> When you’re happy, dance around and wag your entire body.
>
> No matter how often you’re scolded, don’t buy into the guilt
> thing and pout…run right back and make friends.
>
> Delight in the simple joy of a long walk
>
> Eat with gusto and enthusiasm. Stop when you have had enough.
>
> Be loyal. Never pretend to be something you’re not.
>
> If what you want lies buried, dig until you find it.
>
> When someone is having a bad day, be silent, sit close by and
> nuzzle them gently.
>
> I AM THANKFUL FOR TOO MUCH E-MAIL BECAUSE IT
> MEANS I HAVE FRIENDS WHO ARE THINKING OF ME.
>
> SEND THIS TO SOMEONE YOU CARE ABOUT. . .
> I JUST DID !!!
>

I HAVE SOME MORE GOOD ADVICE ABOUT BEING A DOG THEY MISSED!!!

Roll in the most foul smelling things you can find, especially dead animals and squirrel urine.

Lick your genitals and anus as often as feels good.

Be loyal! Especially to anyone who kicks you.

Do things with your friends. Like eating sheep, children, and old ladies.

Eat till you vomit. Then eat the vomit. Repeat as necessary!

Go ahead and lift your tail for anyone who wants a sniff.

Crap wherever you can get away with it. Make sure to smell everyone else’s crap.

Save money and the environment by drinking out of the toilet.

When someone is having a bad day, be silent, sit close by and nuzzle him gently. Unless you’re in direct competition with him, in which case, drive the weakling out of the pack.

Don’t let a little rotten meat spoil the chance for a really great meal.

Have as many children by as many mates as possible and never take responsibility for them.

Get drowned and revived a hundred times for medical research.


----

i ALMOST CC’d everyone, but unfortunately i’m sober; next time write a little later in the day, would you?

Miss you anyway. Will you write me letters in prison?

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