There’s a New World Coming—AKA, I see dead eschatologists

Monday, 13 March 2006

Christ is the unfathomable source that keeps every atom from literally exploding!!!
Christ is the unfathomable.

What!?! Jesus is electromagnetism? Why wasn’t I told sooner? I’ve worshiped EM since I was 10 but I was under the impression Science was a false idol.

The Great Snatch!!!
The Great Snatch

Now, see, this right here is where they need to take it. “The Rapture” is so 17th c. If you want kids to take an interest, call it “The Great Snatch.” Got my attention. Maybe even saved my soul. I was on the way to Suicide Girls but forgot all about it. No devil girls can tempt me now. Who wouldn’t want to be taken up in the great holy snatch?

Would you believe?
Would you believe 144,000 Billy Grahams???

No? Would you believe 777 altar boys with air guns?

How about a rabbi with a bris knife?

Rapture or flying orgasm?

My, my, my. There do seem to be a lot of C-cups and pursed lips headed for the Kingdom with skirts raised.

The great irony.

He’ll charm the whole world into worshipping him!!!

But He’ll turn out to be bad news for everybody!!!

And the punch-line sort of speaks for itself without a hint, I’m sure, of conscious irony on the part of the author, Mr Hal Lindsey.

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