Discovering Nemo –or– I simply must resolve to make it to the theater more often

Monday, 30 April 2007

The real Nemo

Last year met a kid on the playground with my kids. The boy was named Nemo. I was ecstatic. I could not believe I had overlooked this possibility when naming my boy. I said, ”That's sooooo cool. I wish I was named after a homicidal, genius maniac like Captain Nemo!” Except I didn’t do that because this is a 4 year old. I said, “Wow, like Captain Nemo.”

He said, “No. Like the fish.”

Fish? Oh, yeah…

I grabbed the boy by his shirt and dragged him to his mother at the slides where I berated her for a solid sixty seconds, only stopping when she began to cry and shake, about what a foolish thing that was to hang on a kid and that she should at least allow him the dignity of pretending it was an idea taken from Verne not Pixar.

Except I didn’t do that because it would be effing crazy and besides – life is going to do it to the kid plenty by the time he ends up at the county courthouse with an undeniable petition for “Eric.”

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Eric

Re: Discovering Nemo –or– I simply must resolve to make it to the theater more often

Oh puh-leeze. There are too many Eric's already. He should go with "Maynard". Far too few of those.

By Eric on 30 April 2007 · 06:41
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Ashley

Maynard’s… wha?

I always liked Malachi (just need to get to Ashley the 13th for that). Maynard for me has become 100% synonymous with the secret song at the end of LAMC on Salival. It’s not titled but most people refer to it as “Maynard’s Dick.”

By Ashley on 30 April 2007 · 11:22
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William Shakesweasel

Re: Discovering Nemo –or– I simply must resolve to make it to the theater more often

Name the kid "Impotent", and give him a few years to grow into it. That or "Sue".

By William Shakesweasel on 30 April 2007 · 12:34
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Ashley

Re: Discovering Nemo –or– I simply must resolve to make it to the theater more often

There was a moment when I considered “Sue.” Who wouldn’t want the son who would grow up that effing tough? Or crazy and ready to bring a gun to class… Hmmmm, maybe not such a good idea after all.

By Ashley on 30 April 2007 · 13:16
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Pender

Re: Discovering Nemo –or– I simply must resolve to make it to the theater more often

Holy shit, did you choose the name "eric" out of the blue? Eric is also a fish's name, according to this monty python sketch. That's hilarious!

http://www.jumpstation.ca/recroom/comedy/python/fish.html

By Pender on 1 May 2007 · 08:21
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Ashley

Re: Discovering Nemo –or– I simply must resolve to make it to the theater more often

Oh, I know that sketch, it might have contributed subconsciously. I originally wrote “Stephen” but it didn’t sound right.

By Ashley on 1 May 2007 · 09:00
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