Sunday school supplement #6: illustrated lessons from scripture

Sunday, 6 May 2007

Lesson 1: Whores that dress in white make bank. Lesson 2: Jesus organizes the Elephant Walk, He does not participate. Lesson 3: Older men will pay a lot to be with a handsome boy. Lesson 4: Peanut butter is a single person’s friend. Peanut butter and a few dogs. Lesson 5: Christ groupies should wear blue to get noticed. It reminds Him of His mom. Lesson 6: If thy uncle is incontinent, put him on a cheap rug to make clean-ups easier. Lesson 7: In all things, Jesus gets 10% off the top. Lesson 8: Rocks beats scissors but Jesus beats rock. Lesson 9: Jews don’t fight back. Lesson 10: To ensure victory at Red Hands, only play the blind. Lesson 11: Crucifixion is both showy and economical. Lesson 12: Stage diving is dangerous if the crowd just isn’t into it.

Me: No, no, no, no, no. You will not wear me out. It’s not okay, okay? Basta. Yeah? Enough.

Myself: Oh, lord. Why are you spending energy getting mad at me? I’m sure the Norwegians killed a whale today or something.

Me: Lesson nine. That shit is not okay.

Myself: Oh… well, I mean. You know, come on. It’s Biblical. Masada, man.

Me: You should be thinking Mossad, man.

Myself: Oh, pish-posh. Not gonna happen. Do you know how much it would cost to kill me?

Me: Fuck… there’s no winning with you. We’ve been through this like ten times already but I’ll ask again. What is it with you and the Hebrew people?

Myself: What are you talking about?

Me: You’re always going after them.

Myself: It’s good sport.

Me: Good sport? How exactly?

Myself: They’ve got the bomb, man.

Me: Touché.

Lesson 1: Whores that dress in white make bank.
Lesson 2: Jesus organizes the Elephant Walk, He does not participate.
Lesson 3: Older men will pay a lot to be with a handsome boy.
Lesson 4: Peanut butter is a single person’s friend. Peanut butter and a few dogs.
Lesson 5: Christ groupies should wear blue to get noticed. It reminds Him of His mom.
Lesson 6: If thy uncle is incontinent, put him on a cheap rug to make clean-ups easier.
Lesson 7: In all things, Jesus gets 10% off the top.
Lesson 8: Rocks beats scissors but Jesus beats rock.
Lesson 9: Jews don’t fight back.
Lesson 10: To ensure victory at Red Hands, only play the blind.
Lesson 11: Crucifixion is both showy and economical.
Lesson 12: Stage diving is dangerous if the crowd just isn’t into it.
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Discussion

Comments


Pender

Re: Sunday school supplement #6: illustrated lessons from scripture

Hot damn that was funny, greg would love this.

By Pender on 6 May 2007 · 11:04
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Ashley

Re: Sunday school supplement #6: illustrated lessons from scripture

Still waiting for “Greg” to say so himself. It’s like they say, there’s never a cop around when you need one.

By Ashley on 9 May 2007 · 15:24
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William Shakesweasel

Re: Sunday school supplement #6: illustrated lessons from scripture

A little memory check for Ashby.

"Sorry Ma'am, I'm a little set in my ways."

By William Shakesweasel on 6 May 2007 · 21:20
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Ashley

Re: Sunday school supplement #6: illustrated lessons from scripture

I was just thinking about her lately. I wish, wish, wish we had video of a lot of those customers.

By Ashley on 6 May 2007 · 21:25
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rekounas

Re: Sunday school supplement #6: illustrated lessons from scripture

Wow! I didn't realize that this post needed my approval. I guess I am 7 months late, but whatever. Approved!

Jews don't fight back!

Ha Ha!

By rekounas on 7 January 2008 · 06:37
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