I have two normal feet and I can’t see the slightest God-damned reason why anybody should stare at them.
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A Beetle once begged the Eagle to spare a Hare which had run to her for protection. But the Eagle pounced upon her prey, the sweep of her great wings tumbling the Beetle a dozen feet away. Furious at the disrespect shown her, the Beetle flew to the Eagle’s nest and rolled out the eggs. Not one did she spare. The Eagle’s grief and anger knew no bounds, but who had done the cruel deed she did not know.
Next year the Eagle built her nest far up on a mountain crag; but the Beetle found it and again destroyed the eggs. In despair the Eagle now implored great Jupiter to let her place her eggs in his lap. There none would dare harm them. But the Beetle buzzed about Jupiter’s head, and made him rise to drive her away; and the eggs rolled from his lap.
Now the Beetle told the reason for her action, and Jupiter had to acknowledge the justice of her cause. And they say that ever after, while the Eagle’s eggs lie in the nest in spring, the Beetle still sleeps in the ground. For so Jupiter commanded.
Take that, subspace.
Discussion
Comments
Re: Third runner-up: most unintentionally inappropriate children’s book excerpt
I must have a dirty mind. I notice stuff like this all the the time. For instance, from the RUNAWAY BUNNY:
"If you become the wind and blow me," said the little bunny, "I will join a circus and fly away on a flying trapeze."
By Phillip on 14 May 2007 · 09:08
Re: Third runner-up: most unintentionally inappropriate children’s book excerpt
You’re hired. Though I was actually expecting Greg’s application first.
By A is A on 14 May 2007 · 10:05
Re: Third runner-up: most unintentionally inappropriate children’s book excerpt
this reminds me , ..i liked listening to phillips mud radio .. because it came in so amazingly clear at my old place , and his voice talking about the music was so soothing , i too love jolie holland ( i love to sing along with her..)and townes was heart breaking, ...anyways i think that he read the runaway bunny aloud for his niece one night ..and i missed it , i left the radio ? on while i was in other parts of my home working , /i never really understood bandwidth ..and always felt like i was doing something wrong in having it on ... ?
By anne on 14 May 2007 · 15:32
Re: Third runner-up: most unintentionally inappropriate children’s book excerpt
huh? Take the whole pill, stop breakin the dose in half!
By William Shakesweasel on 17 May 2007 · 18:11
Re: Third runner-up: most unintentionally inappropriate children’s book excerpt
but ..which pills ..willy ? , and are you keeping up with your reading assignments ..?
By anne on 17 May 2007 · 20:40
Re: Third runner-up: most unintentionally inappropriate children’s book excerpt
But of course, sure reading makes my lips tired...but that is how Helen Keller learned to masturbate. You should try a chain saw...
By William Shakesweasel on 17 May 2007 · 22:56