Oh, make me over. I’m all I wanna be. A walking study, in demonology.
Saturday, 24 March 2007
Dear guy who pees without using his hands:
You work on the 7th floor of US1 in downtown Seattle. You stand at the urinal with both hands on your hips.
Stop it.
You freak everyone out, man.
About · Referring queries · Random article · Random doc · Recent comments (XML) · Contact · XML/Atom
articles · document pages
» You keep dodging bullets, America
» Why did it take me decades to arrive at this?
» The twentieth anniversary of the 9/11 attacks
» Sedition·com is twenty years old† as of now
» The greatest quote of the 21st century (so far)
» Your candidate, I presume? #2.1
» Your candidate, I presume? #2
» Austin, Texas is the new Austin, Texas
» George Foreman I is going down in the first
» I don’t win every fight in my dreams
» How on Earth are there only two results in Google for this?
» You know what occurs to me seeing Harvey Weinstein doing the perp walk?
» How to run *old* perl Kwiki (like 0.38) on PSGI
» Convert image sources to data URI with Perl: img2data
» Flugblätter der Widerstandsbewegung in Deutschland.
» Flugblätter der Weissen Rose. IV
» Flugblätter der Weissen Rose. III
We use carbon neutral web hosting to serve pages and our software, images, and auxiliary content are developed using 100% wind power; no, seriously.
A Giant Oak stood near a brook in which grew some slender Reeds. When the wind blew, the great Oak stood proudly upright with its hundred arms uplifted to the sky. But the Reeds bowed low in the wind and sang a sad and mournful song.
“You have reason to complain,” said the Oak. “The slightest breeze that ruffles the surface of the water makes you bow your heads, while I, the mighty Oak, stand upright and firm before the howling tempest.”
“Do not worry about us,” replied the Reeds. “The winds do not harm us. We bow before them and so we do not break. You, in all your pride and strength, have so far resisted their blows. But the end is coming.”
As the Reeds spoke a great hurricane rushed out of the north. The Oak stood proudly and fought against the storm, while the yielding Reeds bowed low. The wind redoubled in fury, and all at once the great tree fell, torn up by the roots, and lay among the pitying Reeds.
Take that, subspace.
Discussion
Comments
Re: To the guy who pees without using his hands
I suspect and regret that any ninny who pees without using hands is unlikely to be a sedition reader in which case i *also* regret that this didnt happen back in the days when I was 'resting'. I could have swum the Rio Puget, borrowed someone's card into US1 and lurked around the 7th floor loo until this buffoon came along.
Nor do I think I would have needed spend much time in the loo itself: handless pee-ers tend to announce themselves even before they've pointed percy at the porcelain. I would have spotted him by his power gait or breezy way of greeting others.
What I haven't yet worked out is how one would challenge him: these things need careful timing and phrasing for maximum shock and spillage.
"Oh - for GOD's sake!!! It's the idiot who pees without using his hands!!!"
Ideally, one would have a ninja pal ready with hood and handcuffs so as to prolong the damage.
Anyway, i hate to think of the twerp breezing thru his day oblivious to having been named and shamed.
By chris holmes on 26 March 2007 · 05:06