I dint know mice were so smart.
Saturday, 24 March 2007
Dear guy who pees without using his hands:
You work on the 7th floor of US1 in downtown Seattle. You stand at the urinal with both hands on your hips.
Stop it.
You freak everyone out, man.
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A Butterfly once fell in love with a beautiful Rose. The Rose was not indifferent, for the Butterfly’s wings were powdered in a charming pattern of gold and silver. And so, when he fluttered near and told how he loved her, she blushed rosily and said yes. After much pretty love-making and many whispered vows of constancy, the Butterfly took a tender leave of his sweetheart.
But alas! It was a long time before he came back to her.
“Is this your constancy?” she exclaimed tearfully. “It is ages since you went away, and all the time, you have been carrying on with all sorts of flowers. I saw you kiss Miss Geranium, and you fluttered around Miss Mignonette until Honey Bee chased you away. I wish he had stung you!”
“Constancy!” laughed the Butterfly. “I had no sooner left you than I saw Zephyr kissing you. You carried on scandalously with Mr. Bumble Bee and you made eyes at every single Bug you could see. You can’t expect any constancy from me!”
Take that, subspace.
Discussion
Comments
Re: To the guy who pees without using his hands
I suspect and regret that any ninny who pees without using hands is unlikely to be a sedition reader in which case i *also* regret that this didnt happen back in the days when I was 'resting'. I could have swum the Rio Puget, borrowed someone's card into US1 and lurked around the 7th floor loo until this buffoon came along.
Nor do I think I would have needed spend much time in the loo itself: handless pee-ers tend to announce themselves even before they've pointed percy at the porcelain. I would have spotted him by his power gait or breezy way of greeting others.
What I haven't yet worked out is how one would challenge him: these things need careful timing and phrasing for maximum shock and spillage.
"Oh - for GOD's sake!!! It's the idiot who pees without using his hands!!!"
Ideally, one would have a ninja pal ready with hood and handcuffs so as to prolong the damage.
Anyway, i hate to think of the twerp breezing thru his day oblivious to having been named and shamed.
By chris holmes on 26 March 2007 · 05:06