To the guy who pees without using his hands

Saturday, 24 March 2007

Dear guy who pees without using his hands:

You work on the 7th floor of US1 in downtown Seattle. You stand at the urinal with both hands on your hips.

Stop it.

You freak everyone out, man.

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chris holmes

Re: To the guy who pees without using his hands

I suspect and regret that any ninny who pees without using hands is unlikely to be a sedition reader in which case i *also* regret that this didnt happen back in the days when I was 'resting'. I could have swum the Rio Puget, borrowed someone's card into US1 and lurked around the 7th floor loo until this buffoon came along.

Nor do I think I would have needed spend much time in the loo itself: handless pee-ers tend to announce themselves even before they've pointed percy at the porcelain. I would have spotted him by his power gait or breezy way of greeting others.

What I haven't yet worked out is how one would challenge him: these things need careful timing and phrasing for maximum shock and spillage.

"Oh - for GOD's sake!!! It's the idiot who pees without using his hands!!!"

Ideally, one would have a ninja pal ready with hood and handcuffs so as to prolong the damage.

Anyway, i hate to think of the twerp breezing thru his day oblivious to having been named and shamed.

By chris holmes on 26 March 2007 · 05:06