Call me Cassandra –or– Y’all better fall in line or I’m’a start predictioning on yo’ asses

Tuesday, 22 May 2007

Eschatology

Fires, earthquakes, storms, floods, famine, disease and other disasters will continue at completely normal historical levels. The world will somehow manage not to end.

While the world will not end, a prominent Christian televangelist will. We’re not dropping any names. We can’t. We’re contractually bound not to.

Sedition·com predictions for 2007

How in the world did you guys let me forget about this when Falwell cashed out? There is only one answer to this (and why I didn’t know Clutch had a new album out until last week): I have no friends.


Myself: I can think of another answer.

Me: …

Myself: You have no readers.

Me: …and what’s your excuse for not bringing more in?

Myself: My touch appeals to a certain demographic which is disinclined to erudition.

Me: So, those who like mom jokes and Jew bashing can’t read is what you’re saying.

Myself: Shhh… they can hear.

Me: So why do I let you write anything?

Myself: Because I got, and, oh all right, chuckled a little, your Gunning fog impedance mismatch gag.

Me: So?

Myself: You’re a who… I mean, a light touch. All it takes to get anything from you is to show that I understand your stuff.

Me: Hey! Not cool.

Myself: What?

Me: You just broadcast my kryptonite to the entire world.

Myself: Ah, we come full circle so quickly, my poor deluded bunkmate. Your secret has been broadcast to the entire world of “you have no readers.”

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Discussion

Comments


daniel

Re: Call me Cassandra –or– Y’all better fall in line or I’m’a start predictioning on yo’ asses

excellent.. the lurking paid off.

*kryptonite in hand*

By daniel on 22 May 2007 · 19:30
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Ashley

In your what, what?

It feels better than I was expecting.

By Ashley on 22 May 2007 · 21:46
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anne

Re: Call me Cassandra –or– Y’all better fall in line or I’m’a start predictioning on yo’ asses

sorry ash, i just looked back at my comments ..i guess i'm too flakey for communicating , i'll give up again , / weasel , i don't have the attn. span to stalk ..

By anne on 22 May 2007 · 19:55
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William Shakesweasel

Re: Call me Cassandra –or– Y’all better fall in line or I’m’a start predictioning on yo’ asses

Try some raisins, and peanut butter, then you can celery stalk...but seriously folks....try the chainsaw

By William Shakesweasel on 22 May 2007 · 23:39
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Ashley

Re: Call me Cassandra –or– Y’all better fall in line or I’m’a start predictioning on yo’ asses

A moo, moo, moo is all I want to say to you.

By Ashley on 22 May 2007 · 23:44
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