Memes for monkeys: Who would you disappear?

Friday, 12 January 2007

Ex-person

You can decide who dies. One person. We’ll say it’s not even “dies,” because that’s cruel and might be interpreted as murder or a threat. You can decide one person who just never existed. No cruelty, no death, just non-existence for whomever you choose.

I recommend not choosing Hitler because–

  • It would be trite. There’s really nothing worse than that.
  • Might mean we end up speaking German. The way WW I concluded made WW II a virtual certainty and the replacement Prussian Chancellor might not be a drug addled half-man lacking sound military judgement.
  • It’s plain old fashioned wrong and shows what a jerk you are. Stalin and Mao were both much bigger killers. Boo-hoo, 6 million Jews—and assorted millions of Poles and Gypsies—died. What about the 70 million Chinese and 40 million Ukrainians and other Soviets who died? They didn’t have good agents is all or else you’d know about them. [citation]

Choosing George W Bush also probably won’t work out the way you want. The hands up his ass working his mouth would have found other puppets to slip on and I guarantee the election against Gore wouldn’t have come down to a series of judicial coin flips if they’d run almost anyone else.

So, choose for pleasure. Not for the imaginary good of mankind which you—not the general “you,” you personally—wouldn’t have a chance at getting right.

Everything you need to know about Morgan Webb

My first pick was Adam Sessler. Naturally. But I realize that no one in the world even knows who he is—other than a nasal, lispy impediment to a clear view of Morgan Webb’s thorax—so why waste the virtual ink.

Now it becomes difficult though. Save the world from a particularly diverting travesty of art history? From Sanrio? From Lord Alfred Tennyson? From Burger King’s marketing? From Depeche Mode?

Save myself from a terrible day? From a godawful yet ubiquitous website? From a bad work experience? From a bad girlfriend? From Barnaby?

I have no good answer. Your turn. Don’t blow it. Me. It. Me. It.

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Discussion

Comments


Ashley

Re: Memes for monkeys: Who would you disappear?

Elmo.

By Ashley on 14 May 2007 · 13:59
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Ashley

Re: Memes for monkeys: Who would you disappear?

No. If we’re playing for keepsies, Leonard Peikoff.

By Ashley on 21 May 2007 · 00:33
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anne

Re: Memes for monkeys: Who would you disappear?

elmo.. email ? .. what made you go back and add this here ..?

By anne on 15 May 2007 · 05:55
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