Name my baby

Sunday, 29 July 2007

Help me avoid another letter from the state of Washington threatening to make a generic label final and legal as it takes another two months to name one of the Pond subdivisions.

This is what I’ve come up with so far–

  • Curly
  • Perfidy
  • Trout Fishing In America
  • Chocolate Pie Heart
  • Spock

But that is by no means a definitive list and we leave it as an exercise for the reader to determine which the children came up with (hint, it’s only one of them). I am sure there are plenty I missed of which I should be made aware, my interstellar kittens.

11 comments · Commenting is closed
digg stumbleupon reddit Fark Technorati Faves




Re: Name my baby



("Geez" is a suggestion, too)

By jody on 29 July 2007 · 10:54

A is A

Re^2: Name my baby

I’d be scared of the second getting the Latin-American pronunciation of “Heeze.”

On the Sedition line, I had not considered something like, “I Am Going To Kill The President.” Might be nice to be able to sign that day in and day out.

Or something lame like Ian… Just kidding! I can prove I’m kidding because my middle name is just another version of “Ian.”

By A is A on 29 July 2007 · 11:31


Re: Name my baby

How about Tracy? Or Kelly? You see where I'm heading. It'll give their growing up a tad more of a challenge, as you know.

And it's "Iain" - two "i"s.

By jody on 29 July 2007 · 15:02

A is A

Re^2: Name my baby

Shannon would be the one I’d gravitate toward, going that route. Or just go ahead and name him Vivian Five I, just to see.

And my middle name is Evvvan with three “v”s. It was supposed to be a “w” and a “v” but the hospital clerk read and typed it wrong.

By A is A on 29 July 2007 · 19:05


Re: Name my baby

My main naming strengths are all in negative assistance; advice that shouldn't be taken; examples that shouldn't be followed; names that make patricide inevitable; names that make early study of martial arts an excellent idea; blatant plagiarizing of the naming style IOZ perfected for VDH and so forth. By not taking my advice, everyone comes out better off. That being said:

A Thousand Years of Health to Chairman Mao -- black belt by the age of seven with that one. Near universal opprobrium for you. The people who do approve are a sore trial.

Lothario Loquesto Lingonberry -- comes home to hack you to death with machete at age of fourteen.

Vermiculite -- keeps you alive and suffering forever as vengeance.

Walden -- obvious, but a classic and it gives you room for a disingenuous defense that will infuriate the child even more.

Hope this helps!

By Vagrant on 29 July 2007 · 16:05

A is A

Re^2: Name my baby

I was excited about the patricide angle till I saw the name and its assured death sentence.

By A is A on 29 July 2007 · 19:06

William Shakesweasel

Re: Name my baby

Turd-burglar the first,
Sealy Posturepedic,
Milk Man Jr.,
The Second Coming (or third),
Dad Found George's Bush,
Horny After Prison Stay,
Yo Quiero Sanity,
Wet Spot,
The Clot That Lived, or
He Who Dodges Wire Hangers

By William Shakesweasel on 29 July 2007 · 17:49

A is A

Re^2: Name my baby

And people say you’ve gone soft.

By A is A on 29 July 2007 · 19:04

chris holmes

Re: Name my baby

wow - you have tapped some great commentators here. scruggs has a ring of authority, so good in fact, i thought him/her you.

i have no suggestions after this lot but i do like Perfidy/Parlous. Panache would become Pan Ache. None of the greek names work outside the home of democracy. Very nice theme and thread that lured some wits out of the woodwork and must have kept the fanbase smiling.

By chris holmes on 30 July 2007 · 23:20

A is A

Re^2: Name my baby

Hmmmm… That’s a nice angle. As long as he remains incogsquirrelito I might be able to get away with intimations that Scruggs is my sock puppet.

By A is A on 31 July 2007 · 09:11


Re^3: Name my baby

I'm not really a squirrel, you know. I'm disguised like one for tax purposes, sure, but that's the extent of the commitment.

I might be able to get away with intimations that Scruggs is my sock puppet.

See, now, that's the kind of thing that gives me the ontological heebie jeebies. I am a sock puppet, but I'd been led to believe that I was operated by a left libertarian media cooperative. Sole proprietorship means I could be sold to Rupert Murdoch and find myself forced to deliver insane authoritarian banalities to stupid people.

By Vagrant on 31 July 2007 · 23:06