Fucking math

Tuesday, 4 September 2007

NYT: “The Myth, the Math, the Sex”

The lede is something only a woman or a wounded gay man could have written sure enough that it didn’t need even the pretense of science or citation. We’ll take Ms Kolata at her word in regards to gender.

Everyone knows men are promiscuous by nature. August 12, 2007, Gina Kolata1 for The NY Times

Her article goes on to show it has been mathematically proved that men do not have that much sex.

It is about time for mathematicians to set the record straight, said David Gale, an emeritus professor of mathematics at the University of California, Berkeley.

“Surveys and studies to the contrary notwithstanding, the conclusion that men have substantially more sex partners than women is not and cannot be true for purely logical reasons,” Dr. Gale said.

Ah, UC Berkeley. No finer shopping mall for mind-altering substances in the world. Ask any emeritus looking to get some press to heat up his speaking engagements and chances for an eponymous wing on the new maths building. I might add, speaking as a rock musician, it’s about time to set the record straight in regards to how much horizontal horseplay mathematicians get: slim to none.

Now, maybe I can barely follow the goodies that drive the Diffie-Hellman but I’m pretty sure that unless everyone is having sex—and with the assumption of an equal number of hetero men and women—it’s just not that simple. Take our own case–

Fucking math made simple—now with flow chart!

The rough and ready conclusion being that more women are getting some but some men are getting more. There’s your soundbite. Now can we please stop all this talk of logic? If not we then follow the above graphic with its implications.

Fucking math made simple—mathematicians don’t get none

1 Doesn’t, but should, rhyme with Vagina Colada.

Do the math

This man fucked all these women. They all had one partner. He had five.

Ashley » Michelle, Debbie, Ann, Nancy†, Halle.

† Like we preach at Sedition·com, always throw in one lie. The best tactic here is to drop a regrettable plowing and insert, as it were, a fanciful one which lends boasting rights. In the chart above, for example, Oprah’s lawyers filed an injunction against the first graphic and I have never met any woman named Nancy.

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