Mr Yashel V D’nop — Genuine International Serieux Problem Solver

Saturday, 25 August 2007

From my tasseographer I discover that Mr Elhadj Taifor is once again breaking the court order against duplicating my Human Problems® service list; down to the sic.

Mr Elhadj Taifor’s cleaning services brochure

It’s about time I pushed my own services more aggressively lest I give other competitors a crack to get some fingers in and start prying open my ®. I can and do make the same guarantees for the same services.

Family Problems–
Sure. Just tell me who needs to be straightened out and how hard. Intractable problems can simply be made to “go away.”
Relationships Marriage Partnership Divorce Return Back Your Love–
Again, easy. Just indicate which direction the shotgun should orientate and how much pressure should be applied to the trigger.
Health–
This is just a matter of perspective. You’d be surprised how grateful one can feel for even the most unhealthy state when the proper comparisons are introduced. There is of course a nominal fee to remove the comparisons but you are guaranteed to feel much healthier at that time.
Infertility–
I guarantee your wife will become pregnant.
Sexual Impotence–
A blank pad of signed prescription sheets awaits your disposal.
Job Business Finance–
It takes money to make take money. Tell me how much you need and I’ll tell you how much you need to spend to get there.
Problems Protection From The Enemies–
The Dead can’t hurt you.
Protection From Bad Spirits Remove Black Magic–
Wait, did I say, “The Dead can’t hurt you?” They CAN! But I offer protection for a small fee. Please note that the Dead tend to return now and then and daddy’s got some gambling debts.
Etc–
Various problems with livestock, grade-school bullies from your past, and cops who gave you parking tickets also solved.

For more information just ring 2, 4, 3, 6, 2, 4. Hey! I lead a life of crime.

Only by appointment behind Ang Mo Kio Bus Depot. Second refrigerator box from the left.

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