Bull’s eye

Tuesday, 23 October 2007

Myself: So, I was just thinking…

Me: Oh, no. What?

Myself: I know I give you a hard time about stuff but I am pretty impressed with your aim.

Me: Yeah?

Myself: Yeah. Did you know, for example that a heart shot through a rat at 20 feet is about the same as a heart shot through an elk at 250 feet.

Me: No way.

Myself: Yeah, man. Rat’s got an itty-bitty heart. The margin for error on the rat is about 5 arcminutes. You draw that out to an elk-sized heart, you get 250, maybe 300 feet, guaranteed kill. Maybe farther too because that’s just the fudge factor. Standing shot? No scope?

Me: No, man. The idiot at the sporting goods store couldn’t tell me which ring adapters I needed. Always been able to barrel sight anyway.

Myself: Yeah.

Me: So, you think you can handle dressing deer or something? Save on the grocery bill this winter?

Myself: No, I was actually thinking that it’s about, oh, 180 feet for a human heart. Get you a good scope and a tripod, bet we multiply that by 10. Half a mile easy.

Me: Hey, asshat! Stop. Conclusions can be drawn from that shit. You gotta quit insinuating the President is a short timer, man.

Myself: Oh, Jesus. I wasn’t talking about the President. I said a human heart.

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