Bull’s eye
Tuesday, 23 October 2007
Myself: So, I was just thinking…
Me: Oh, no. What?
Myself: I know I give you a hard time about stuff but I am pretty impressed with your aim.
Me: Yeah?
Myself: Yeah. Did you know, for example that a heart shot through a rat at 20 feet is about the same as a heart shot through an elk at 250 feet.
Me: No way.
Myself: Yeah, man. Rat’s got an itty-bitty heart. The margin for error on the rat is about 5 arcminutes. You draw that out to an elk-sized heart, you get 250, maybe 300 feet, guaranteed kill. Maybe farther too because that’s just the fudge factor. Standing shot? No scope?
Me: No, man. The idiot at the sporting goods store couldn’t tell me which ring adapters I needed. Always been able to barrel sight anyway.
Myself: Yeah.
Me: So, you think you can handle dressing deer or something? Save on the grocery bill this winter?
Myself: No, I was actually thinking that it’s about, oh, 180 feet for a human heart. Get you a good scope and a tripod, bet we multiply that by 10. Half a mile easy.
Me: Hey, asshat! Stop. Conclusions can be drawn from that shit. You gotta quit insinuating the President is a short timer, man.
Myself: Oh, Jesus. I wasn’t talking about the President. I said a human heart.
