his old man

I lived in the dorms with this guy. We used to laugh until our teeth were numb and we were getting mad at each other because we had to get up in a couple hours and neither one of us would quit telling jokes that were quite hilarious by 4 a.m. One night we told 100 jokes and each one was funnier than the one before it and the first one was the funniest. That will make your teeth numb.

He was the smartest person I ever met. He could see right through a thing, an issue, a person. He was so funny when he felt like it. He was also the most naturally talented musician I ever met. He never drank. He said it was because he was allergic to alcohol. I’ve heard a lot of kids of alcoholics use this excuse. Why the fuck can’t they just say they don’t want a drink? Why do they need an excuse? He’s not allergic to alcohol any more than his old man is. Don’t get me wrong. I like his dad a lot. He reminds me of my own dad.

Anyway, this guy, we’ll call him Mike _______ for this story. He didn’t do drugs either. He hated the very idea of being out of control of his intellect. He was filled with an overwhelming disgust for drug users. He looked down on them from a height that caused nose bleeds. That made sense. It was part of why he was so goddamn smart. Never met anyone else that smart or that good at music and I know a lot of smart fucking musicians too.

A lot of my friends listen to rap and like the movies and south central LA culture and all that and they say, “Nigger,” pretty often. Mike does too. But he’s mostly from the east coast even though his mom and my dad graduated high school together in New Mexico and when he says, “Nigger,” I think he means it differently.

Last I heard he was still playing back-up for a bunch of losers in a ’Burque college dance band and getting high every day. But I guess he’s still never had a drink.

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