coherence is quite important in lasers, as opposed to Asian history where it’s a revisionist mistake

I’m not fat but I deserve to be. Many people who are fat don’t deserve it. I do. I like to eat candy and beer and coffee and whiskey. That’s it. There are 165 calories in a whiskey sour or a beer. That’s about the same as a small chocolate bar. A lot of barflies never eat food at all and they’re still fat. That’s why.

I eat fast food and ice cream and candy a lot and drink whiskey at least often. I am thin. That’s what they mean they say life isn’t fair. I’m the one they’re talking about because they love tacos, chocolate bars, and whiskey but they’re scared to get fat. Unless they know the LAPD. They may mean something else by, “Life’s not fair,” in that case.

Maybe this will catch up with me but it hasn’t yet. I’m in decent shape and I have the best teeth in the world. I don’t even have to brush after treats.

America is the greatest country in the solar system because you can buy your childhood back for 69¢. My childhood was fantastic. When you hear me complaining about being younger I’m talking about being a teenager. My childhood was one long trip to Disney World and I’ve never been to Florida.

Botan Rice Candy was my favorite candy when I was 10. It’s popular on the west coast because of all the Japanese there. Botan Rice Candy is from Japan. They didn’t have it in New Mexico.

When I went to Korea I discovered many candy stores. That was great. Whiskey was very expensive. That was sucky. I thought I’d go to the candy stores which were cheap and live it up so I didn’t think about the whiskey I couldn’t buy.

Korea is famous for rice. Japan imports most of their rice. Korea doesn’t and they wouldn’t even if they had to because they couldn’t stand to eat second rate rice from American and China. Korean rice is the best in the world. I lived in Ichon. This town is famous for having the best rice in Korea. I had it every day. It was some good rice, no argument.

I was excited to buy back my childhood. I went to the store looking for rice candy. They have candy made of rice but not rice candy. I was delivered a terrible blow. What the hell good was living in Korea going to do me?

I forgot all about it when I got home and moved to Seattle. In the supermarket I was reading Korean packages to show off to myself that I knew how to read Korean soup names so well. I saw some Botan Rice Candy from Japan. I bought it for 69¢.

Korea and I had a shakey goodbye on many counts. Korean food is fantastic but as I elaborated, I don’t like food. I like desert and whiskey. Korean whiskey is expensive and poor. Korean desert is simply atrocious. It consists chiefly of burned rice with a little hot water. Don’t laugh. It’s not funny because it’s true. It’s just true. Every Korean I met expected me to enjoy it. It wasn’t funny once, not even the first time. The missing rice candy was the last straw.

Maybe once Korea had this kind of rice candy. They don’t now. Only Japan. They suffer for it. They had tea ceremonies and pottery first in Asia and printing first in the world. China and Japan split those right down the middle and left Koreans with a lot of half-Chinese and half-Japanese babies as compensation.

Japan takes a lot of things in general. Japan took martial arts from China and pretends it made martial arts up. Japan took computers, TVs, cars, and patents from America and said it made those up. Kimchee is now popular in Japan. I can see a day when it is no longer eaten in Korea. They eat kimchee at every meal right now, especially breakfast, ugh.

I’m not fat and I deserve to be. Korea is culturally and financial poor but doesn’t deserve to be. Japan is to blame for Korea’s problems but as long as they keep exporting Botan Rice Candy, and I stay thin, I don’t care.

« the book of embraces, chapter Becky · another beautiful black woman who was talked out of loving me by Spike Lee »
« Contents »

What happened to Sedition·com?