untitled for queers

I thought I wasn’t homophobic but I was wrong. Homophobic is not an adept word. It means fear of the same. I’m not afraid of things the same as me. This word has developed a different definition though. So we should let it go at that and say that I thought I didn’t have anything against gay men.

I was walking to the supermarket. I had my hands in my jeans’ pockets because it was cold. There were two gay men walking ahead of me. When I passed them I took my hands out of my pockets because having my hands in my pockets pulled the denim tight over my ass and I didn’t want them checking out my ass. It surprised me that I did it. What a hypocritical prick I am.

It was worse because they went into the market too. They were in the same aisle as I was so I looked at them. They were both really good looking. They looked like brothers. That can happen with a couple. They start to look like each other. They seemed happy and good together. Most couples don’t. They really did.

Neither one of them looked at me in the supermarket. Like they didn’t care at all. Fuck them, try to look at my ass and then pretend they don’t like me.

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