please be my friend, Richard Powers

My favorite writer is Richard Powers. Because he’s slicker than goose shit. He’s a genius like mad. I know a couple of geniuses personally and Powers is smarter than they are. A friend of mine in Italy knows Umberto Eco and maybe he’s smarter than Powers but I bet it’s close.

I like to read his books slowly and carefully because he’s such a great writer. Also because I want to catch him being stupid somewhere. I’m kind of a jerk that way. I don’t want anyone to be a genius except me and my friends. So I read Powers’s books and I wait for him to slip up. So I can be the one who says, “Richard Powers! You’re no genius!” This isn’t fair at all. If I knew him I wouldn’t do it. If I knew him I think I would love him like a brother. That would be great if I found out he liked my books too and he called me to tell me and I told him I didn’t like his books, I loved them. And we could compliment each other the way guys do when they pretend to be modest by saying nice things about another guy.

We could hang out and do writer stuff together like argue and get revenge. We could drink coffee and read each other’s first drafts till dawn. He could teach me a lot about history and I could teach him to write good poems. I don’t know much about him beyond his books. I hope he’s young enough to still like talking about girls because I like to do that sometimes.

PS: He slipped up once that I’ve caught but you have to find it for yourself. Every genius for him or herself. You’ll find a clue in the second chapter of this book.

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