how to keep warm at night

Regarding one Chronic Motherfucker’s rolling commentary in which he made the unfortunate comment that neither his new manuscript nor a Bangkok whore will keep him warm at night I have the following to contribute.

He is, of course, absolutely right. To any young men out there I offer this advice. Do not become a writer. While writers are at home for long hours with the phone unplugged writing and revising manuscripts until the hours stretch into years, you could be out staying warm at night with the lovely young women writers forsake. Forsaking is as important in writing as revenge which I’ve already mentioned.

The whores of Silom and Patpong Road in Bangkok are friendly and smiling like gradeschool Catholic girls. CM is unfortunately right, however, that they will not keep you warm. They will be your friend, though, and you don’t get that in American or European whores anymore. Still, right is right and warm is warm.

I must point out that there is something CM has missed in his youth. Young women (or several sled dogs) are required for men to keep warm while between the ages of 15 and 35. This is true. Your own children are required to keep warm, the Venn overlaps a bit, from 29 to 45. A large amount of fluid wealth and perhaps a 25 year old woman are requisite for keeping warm from 45 to 60. After this point there is only one thing that will keep you warm: the work you did all those years instead of keeping warm.

CM is a young man writing books, poems, and songs. He is an impatient salmon waiting to see if his home falls have been destroyed by the music industry’s latest dam. He is the man who will replace Michael Corleone when it comes time to shoot Tolstoy in the head in a pizza parlor in Athens, GA. He is sleeping under a thousand blankets and freezing. Sometimes cold is difficult to take. When you become an old man, it becomes impossible to take. I predict he will have an easy and debauchery filled retirement. I predict his laughter on his death bed. I predict blanket success.

This is CM’s closing quote to his commentary:

This manuscript [Ed: his novella “Maturations”] won’t keep me warm at night and neither will a Bangkok whore. But one might get me rich and the other can probably suck the ever living fuck right out of my dick. And there just ain’t nothing wrong with that.

He has summed it up. There is nothing wrong with that.

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