why my friend CM has a pen name too

CM has a pen name too. In fact, he got one before I did. He’s always had a better sense of style than I. I don’t call him by his pen name because it’s kind of rude. His pen name is Fat Bastard. I like it but I don’t like to say it. I don’t want to hurt anybody’s feelings by saying that.

I’ll write him some e-mail and ask him why he picked his pen name.

hey, i want to use something of yours in the book of embraces. i have a piece called “why my friend ––––––– has a pen name too.” could you shoot me some kind of response. it will be printed in the book along with this e-mail (exie willing.)

He got right back to me with this:

same problem at work. those kids don't have enough blankets either. i'm ready to picket or something.

you weren't being a prick. you were being whatever. it's just you left an opening for some surly working man type shit and i slung it. because i would rather be unemployed and writing 17 billion words a night or whatever you're up to now in a way, even though i hate being unemployed. i mean i hate not knowing how i'm going to pay rent. i hate it when that guy on the grayhound bus when i was moving here, his words are in my head: "well, you know in portland you can always eat. they got all kinds of free food around so whatever else is going wrong you know you can always eat." that's reassuring.

* * *

oh for fuck sake would you leave me alone i'm getting top ramen all over the computer mr. "V." what kind of fucking last name is that?

i'll keep trying.

* * *

a plot ehhhh...? hmmmmm...

she's insane. of course there's a plot. it's a fucking you know, a comedy. anyway, so now we've got to come up with something she'll think is a plot.

He then continued to not answer my mail by writing a long piece about love which truly moved me away from being a jaded creep who likes to hurt the feelings of those who are stuck-up enough to remain innocent and full of hope. It was long though and this is my book. Not his, I mean.

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