I really wanted to be an advice columnist

I have a good trick for you if you accidentally don’t tap well enough after urinating. I don’t know if this tip is any good for girls—as I understand it, your plumbing is not entirely similar—probably just for guys so girls can skip ahead if they want.

If you accidentally get some spots of urine on your pants or shirt or whatever this can be very embarrassing. Just go to the sink and splash a bunch of water on the top of your shirt, around your collar. It will look like you washed your face and any incidental spots of fluid will be overlooked.

Turns out I’m only good at writing advice for people who piss on themselves.

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