Noam Chomsky is not only a communist but I bet I could beat him at mumblety peg without hardly trying

People are incredibly unfair about swearing. They tell you it is horrible and you should go to Hell or jail or someplace else if you have to talk that way. Incredible means unbelievable from Latin. In Italian you might say: non ci credo. That’s what I’d say because I can’t believe it.

I can’t believe it because people swear worse and act like they’re better than you for it because they swear in big words.

If you go to the symphony with your highbrow friend to hear the debut of some modern atonal composer. You might want to say that it doesn’t sound so great but you’re scared your friends will put you down so you wait for them to say something.

One friend says, “Talk about cacophony.”

What a prick your friend is. Cacophony means: sounds shitty. Literally. Caco, like caca, means shit. Phone or phony means sound. God–damn, I hate people sometimes.

If an OG says: “My homes nigger be messing some dope shit around on the mic.”

Many people will go: “Ah!” and cover their ears and hum.

But if an art critic in the Times writes: “So-and-so authentically recalls scat of early jazz when it was strictly the domain of African American vocalists,” many people will eat it up.

These two things are identical, you pricks! Get it straight.

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