Passive-Aggressive Phrase Dictionary, redacted

Monday, 23 March 2009

“Good idea.”: I think that’s the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard and that includes the 20 years of being surrounded by your retard family.
“Oh, no, I’d be glad to do that for you.”: Your kind has trouble managing anything more difficult than breeding and trading food stamps for cigarettes.
“You were right.”: And you can expect sex to get a little scarce around here until you apologize for making me say it.
“Fair enough.”: Fuck you, think you’re so fucking smart.
“I love you.”: …and your bank account. You’re gonna get that raise this quarter finally, right?
“If you really don’t mind.”: Always making me beg, like the cunt you are.
“That’s really interesting.”: No, it isn’t.
“You’ll do fine.”: You can’t let us down because we have come to understand that zero expectations is the only viable course where you’re concerned.
“This is the best I’ve seen.”: …a brain damaged rhesus monkey manage by smearing its feces on a ream of paper and calling it a report.
“But you’re so much better at that than I am.”: Because it’s the sort of menial bullshit to which you’d rather stoop than try reading a book once in your miserable life.
“Are those high-heels actually comfortable?”: Nice whore-stilts. Whore.
“You’re not a disappointment”: Well, of course you are but your step-mom gets a little cock-shy around blow-job time if I say that shit out loud.
“No, really, thanks a lot.”: Stay here for just a sec while I go and get my gun out of the glove box.