Never be rude to an Arab.
Saturday, 4 October 2008
The toughest part about deciding whether to vote McCain or Obama† is figuring out whether I would really rather fuck up Iraq and Iran or just Pakistan and Afghanistan. I mean, what happened to America’s can-do spirit? Is it too much to ask for a candidate who could do all four?
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» Your candidate, I presume? #2
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The Lion had been badly hurt by the horns of a Goat, which he was eating. He was very angry to think that any animal that he chose for a meal, should be so brazen as to wear such dangerous things as horns to scratch him while he ate. So he commanded that all animals with horns should leave his domains within twenty-four hours.
The command struck terror among the beasts. All those who were so unfortunate as to have horns, began to pack up and move out. Even the Hare, who, as you know, has no horns and so had nothing to fear, passed a very restless night, dreaming awful dreams about the fearful Lion.
And when he came out of the warren in the early morning sunshine, and there saw the shadow cast by his long and pointed ears, a terrible fright seized him.
“Goodby, neighbor Cricket,” he called. “I’m off. He will certainly make out that my ears are horns, no matter what I say.”
Take that, subspace.
Discussion
Comments
Re: Can do
Ah, so comforting to see I did something "right" as a parent...
By mom on 7 October 2008 · 10:41
Re^2: Can do
I’ll try not to get arrested until you’re either dead or too senile to understand the horrible things your boy has done.
I’m thinking of writing in “Putin” this November
5th4th. There’s a guy with whom you know where you stand.By A is A on 7 October 2008 · 10:48
Re^3: Can do
Goes to show the kids are always smarter than the parents. Although I have given a lot of thought to write-in, Putin was not on my short list.
By mom on 7 October 2008 · 10:58
Re: Can do
I didn't consider Putin until I saw his instructional Judo video. If those aren't qualifications......
By William Shakesweasel on 10 October 2008 · 11:10
Re^2: Can do
Vladimir Putin demonstrating how totally not gay he is.
By A is A on 10 October 2008 · 11:12
Re: Can do
J.J. Polachek is the non-man for the unjob. He's got the qualifications we need most.
By Vagrant on 16 October 2008 · 22:53
Re^2: Can do
Dude, I’m seriously considering writing him in just to have it in the public record for eternity… Or you know, till the records in D.C. are erased by the pulse that comes with the new pavement of nuclear glass.
On a completely unrelated note, I shot a squirrel in the ass (with an air-soft pistol, painful but totally non-lethal to a mammal) from 30 feet last week. He was chewing through my suet basket to get the goodies. At first he just looked at me like, WTF? I didn’t think he was even going to scram for a second. I think their brains just let the sting sink in slower.
On a completely related note, I signed up a student who had a similar lack of supporting evidence at my high school and enjoyed hearing him called at roll for weeks.
By A is A on 16 October 2008 · 23:04
Re^3: Can do
With autumn, I've lapsed into a weary resignation on the squirrel issue. They scamper past me unhurriedly, pausing now and then to glare their triumph. They know the likely outcome of the election.
As well, the angrily tailgating and passive aggressive obstructionist drivers know. Bush stickers have given way to Obama stickers. But the road pathology is the same, as are the nervously genial, disingenuous grins when they get out of their cars and realize their destination was mine too. They have that same shit-eating look that says, "I'm an asshole, tee hee hee, and I'll scream bloody murder to the cops if you hit me."
By Vagrant on 16 October 2008 · 23:32