Untintended consquence of electing Barack Obama #1

Friday, 26 December 2008

Puerto Rico will never, never, never ever become a state now.

Puerto Rico / Hawaii

Myself: …Stupid.

Me: What? You know, on account of Hawaii becoming a state like two years ago … Obama was born in Hawaii … Birth certificates … More non-whites in the big chair …

Myself: Oh, I got it.

Me: So what are you muttering about?

Myself: Ricans are citizens man. As in natural born. Statehood don’t change that.

Me: …

Myself: You didn’t know that?

Me: …

Myself: You’re always so like “Blah, blah, you’re so racist, blah, blah, I’m so great, blah, blah.” You don’t even know Puerto Ricans are US citizens. Black shoe’s on the other big foot in your narrow white ass now, huh?

Me: You could have told me before I made the flag.

Myself: I like seeing you fall down.

Me: You don’t mind the bump?

Myself: I ride in style, honky. Seeing you wince at the impact is all the painkiller a body needs.

Me: You suck.

Myself: Remember what the vatos in Santa Fe call Ricans?

Me: Yes. Don’t!

Myself: Salt water Mexicans.

Me: It’s always a party with you isn’t it?

Myself: I’ve been dry for a week cause’a this Seattle snow bullshit. Hike your ass up to the liquor store and bring me a drink and I’ll play nice.

Me: Dude… after a drink or two you become the Anti-Christ.

Myself: But the Anti-Christ has bigger fish to fry than you, you pasty fuck.

Me: Help me find my boots. I’ll walk to the store. It’s only a few miles.

Myself: Uphill.

Me: In the snow.

Myself: Just how you likes it. Annual Pity Pride march.

Me: Man, I’m on the way. Sic yourself on Chico Escuela or something.

Myself: Oh, now you get clever with me? I’m’a beat your ass with the bottle when I’m done drinking tonight. Be dead as Garrett Morris.

Me: Not if the bottle is big enough, you won’t.

Myself: And at last. We alight upon common ground.

Me: Whiskey been berry, berry good to me.

Myself: …Stupid.

Me: …?

Myself: Oh, just see below.

Dominican Republic

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