Dear Secretary of the Interior Nominee, Dr P.J. Sciuriphage, MFPhD

Tuesday, 3 February 2009

That’s cool reporting there.

We used to sell two-week placements on IMDb for $50K+. I did the ads (graphics and links) for them. Of course that was talking 10-50 million views. I was never so popular as when I was anonymous and doing work for which I didn’t much care. I was the voice of the Amazon.com recorded phone tree too! 10 million or so people have heard me comfort them that we care and someone will be with them soon. Take that, independent film makers!

I may actually place some ads for Julie on the libertarian network stuff. Good prices. I’ve always been a value(s) shopper. Her site is low traffic but makes about the same as the Devil’s Dictionary X which has approximately 50 times the traffic. Sigh. There’s green in them thar green. Her business is doing well. She just got a contract to clean cars for the Children’s Hospital up here. It means no — well, less — soap going into the Sound. Yay, fish!

Speaking of nature. I was out a couple nights ago and the dog was sniffing up a storm the way they do when *something* is up. Neighbors had a burglary two days previous so I said, I’m walking the perimeter. I went out back and I’m standing still just sensing the yard and this big, fat, retarded cat shambles past my feet. And I’m like, that is the stupidest fucking cat I ever saw (yeah, I had a whiskey and a Kahlúa in me). And then I was like, Oh, my God! That is the *biggest* opossum I ever saw. He noticed me all of the sudden and looked at me like, Well, what are we gonna do about this? Do I gotta play dead and crap myself? I mean, you know I’m not dead, obviously, and I’m in no mood to sell it.

I called Kalahari and met her so she wouldn’t see the ’possum and walked her in. Fun! Now, if I would just commit to always being armed with camera I’d have an illustrated story.

Back on point: I have been avoiding doing a micro-payment ad server forever. So small suckers like myself could do ads for $1 a day or whatever and at least make $25/week or so. Not rich but could be a nice niche.

And on a tangent, I’ve been thinking about you a lot this week. People I know online keep dying. Please don’t die.

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