This week in the news #17

Saturday, 3 March 2007

Afghan opium output soars, flooding Europe Middle East with heroin

Tsk, tsk, tsk. And me without my spoon.

The War on Drugs and the War on Terror! Two great tastes that go great together… like coffee and salt.

New York City Council approves resolution urging people not to use racial slur

Niggaz With Attitude will hereafter be called Nothing Without Absolutism.

For the white fellow engaged in a heated dispute with a black man: with the n-word out of your arsenal you’ll want to practice saying “negro” sarcastically enough to make Gary Coleman swing at Chuck Norris. Remember, and remind everyone else, it was never about the word. Just about who was saying it and why.

Beckham move to U.S. to be reality show

I always knew I was born too late. I should’ve died at the age of 102 the day before they made this announcement.

Vitamins “raise death risk,” study finds

I just won so many arguments retroactively, I cannot begin to tell you.

Americans Hate Their Jobs More Than Ever

…this just in from our And This Is News How? department.

One million in China face water shortage

In related news, seventy-five million in China die from the actions of the government causing the current water shortage. No one notices or cares about that either.

Terrorists have ambitions of empire, says Cheney

We add nothing to this adroit, public self-analysis.

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