What’s the difference between NYC and Arkansas?

Thursday, 10 September 2009

Dear United States of America,

You are not cultured because you can differentiate a Pollock from gum and spit on the piss mottled pavement.

You are not libertine because you took it in the ass a few times in college and went to a major lecture or two high.

You’re not international because you have some mixed blood and an allegedly pedigreed grandparent.

You’re not sophisticated because you have some pidgin French and know who Mario Vargas Llosa is.

And you are not an intellectual because you read a couple of Chomsky chapbooks or titter at New Yorker cartoons on public transit.

Q: What’s the difference between New York City and Arkansas?

A: Arkansas only has two million hicks.

PS: Ashley is a man’s name.

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Re: What’s the difference between NYC and Arkansas?

People who titter at New Yorker cartoons are the worst. I try to make a point of pissing on their shoes when I catch them at it. They're unteachable, but the distress and humiliation at least keeps them from tittering in public.

By Vagrant on 10 September 2009 · 23:17