Me: Did you hear about the latest Michael Phelps race?

Sunday, 21 June 2009

Myself: Ah, of course. The pot and partying has finally caught up with him. What a loser. Of course anyone who uses drugs will fail. We’ve all known that for decades.

Me: The headline was actually “Phelps clocks personal best in 100m butterfly victory.” He won, beating his personal best of 50.58sec, which he set in Beijing winning one of his 14 Olympic gold medals. Also…

Myself: Let me get this straight. He’s getting better? While smoking marijuana? He’s still a winner…? He’s still… the winner?

Me: I’m sure he wasn’t high at the meet but yeah that’s the cloth of it.

Myself: Oh, my God. Someone, please call Nancy Reagan. She must be told.

Me: Not bad up there. I had no idea you could do such a good straight man.

Myself: Of course not. Your kind has trouble recognizing breeders.

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