Lesser known facts about Chuck Norris

Friday, 9 October 2009

  • Chuck Norris doesn’t beat up short, myopic, gimp-legged Chinese guys in movies. He gets killed by them after they tear off half his chest hair.
  • Chuck Norris’s Professional Middleweight Karate champion titles were for non-contact sparring.
  • Chuck Norris doesn’t worship Aries or Thor or Shiva or any cool Gods. He worships some Jew pussy1 who—to prove an idiotic point about what a mensch His Dad could be if given half a chance—let a bunch of losers railroad and kill him.
  • Non-contact sparring.
  • Chuck Norris hates fags and Charles Darwin almost as much as he enjoys fathering children out-of-wedlock when he himself is actually in wedlock.

1 Take it up with Trey and Matt. I wash my hands of the line.2

2 Get it?

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