I couldn’t be more proud, or déjà vu, or I would like to register a complaint

Sunday, 26 July 2009

Recently I found a woman’s address book on the street while out looking for insects to taste. The address book was full of goodies like her bank account numbers and the social security numbers of her family and two kids. I want to have a couple of safe identities stashed. Laid at my feet, like so much else.

I called her right away and returned it. She gave me a beautiful card and $50.

I found a signed blank check from a landscaping company the next week. They didn’t bother to put their phone number on it so I didn’t bother to call them about it. I did tear it up though.

I found a cell phone downtown a couple weeks later. Called the guy and walked a few blocks to meet him and return it. Made another $20. Strangely enough, two days later, Julie lost her phone and the same thing happened. Young man called and returned it right away. Life seems so nice sometimes.

I would like to register a complaint–

So many of you seem so concerned that everyone in the world be more like you. Agree with you. Act like you. Vote like you. I’m not. At all. Concerned with that.

What would it be like if everyone were like just like you? Or I guess the question really is—if you can stand to be honest with yourself for long enough to ask—what would the world be like if everyone weren’t?

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