This week in the news #51: short form

Friday, 28 August 2009

Sen. Kennedy’s body takes final poignant tour

They dumped him in the Chappaquiddick?

Thank you! Good night!

Myself: That joke was so easy it makes Tila Nguyen blush.

Me: Nice.

Myself: That joke was so easy it does anal on the first date.

Me: Keep going.

Myself: That joke was so easy it’s like shopping at Staples. On roofies.

Me: Awesome. Do another.

Myself: No. They are $1,000 each from here. And unlike Leno’s writers, I guarantee potency.

Me: You know I don’t have that kind of money.

Myself: I know you don’t have any kind of money. Besides, I have no idea why you’re enjoying these. I was making fun of you for telling the easiest joke since Michael Jackson caught on fire for Pepsi or George W Bush accomplished the mission or Mel Gibson met a lady cop or–

Me: I get it. You suck.

Myself: Someone has to win. It wasn’t gonna be you so why not enjoy the survival of, roughly, your species?

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Re: This week in the news #51: short form

I'm pretty fussy about Chappaquiddick cracks. It's easy to get fatigued by the references to it, especially the shrill ones that are clearly the product of jealousy and suckled sanctimony. But that one was very, very good.

And so I say, why not? It would do the nation a world of good. The royalist sentiments attending the departure of every worthless hack cry out for a salutarily disrespectful response.

By Vagrant on 8 September 2009 · 23:34