This week in the news #52: the horror

Saturday, 7 November 2009

At last we reach week 52 completing the year of news articles we started exactly a year ago today on April 10th, 2005. Let them call me undisciplined now!

If you want a nasty walk on the path called The More Things Change, click away.

South Korean woman passes driver’s exam on 950th try

This with 60% as a passing score. Let that put to rest forever the horribly inappropriate piece of racist slander that little old Asian ladies are the worst drivers in the world.

The good news for the pedestrians of 서울 is that the Terror of 완주 has yet to pass the accompanying driving test. Here’s to try 1,900!

Now let’s line up the real action–

  • Ft. Hood shooting “horrifying”

  • Congressional Leaders Horrified by Shooting

  • Canadian soliders horrified by Fort Hood massacre

  • Southland Muslims horrified by shooting rampage

  • Obama mourns “horrifying” attacks

  • Family horrified at massacre

Say, weren’t we talking about government work just that morning? It’s all okay because also in the news–

  • Cat owner horrified by shooting of pet

  • Hunters shoot bear dead in front of horrified tourists

  • Peter Howson’s Horrifying Portrait Of Amy Winehouse

  • Nintendo Wii’s Horrifying Attempt to Appeal to Young Girls

Let’s not forget that horror is a petty commodity in the United States and that the English language is only of historical importance to a handful of researchers.

Let’s also not forget that there are a few hundred thousand birds come and coming home to roost and you can rely on plenty more “massacres” where that came from over the next twenty years.

  • Museum Receives Horrifying Offer From Nazi Relative

Godwinned! At last we can end this. The next time a thread is mercifully dispatched by anyone invoking the name of Godwin I hope you’ll appreciate that the Internet has Hitler to thank for this final solution.

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