Happy New Year — notes molding in the hopper; also so long, farewell, et cetera and so on and so forth

Friday, 1 January 2010

I’m 1,500 messages deep in email I haven’t taken care of in the last year plus. A large slice of it is notes to myself to write up for here. As mentioned back in January we’re stacking up things half done like cordwood. Isn’t that a nice cliché? Makes me warm. The situation worsens, even with publishing 190 or so pieces since then we still have climbed in the backlog–

mysql> SELECT COUNT(*) FROM article
    -> WHERE golive > NOW() AND status = 'publish'
    -> OR status = "draft";
+----------+
| COUNT(*) |
+----------+
|      421 | 
+----------+
1 row in set (0.00 sec)

So, this is all the stuff that’s rattling around the drafts list and the “Sed fodder” folder in my gmail. Time to clean house of anything too small or weak to post alone or too far from complete to hope to fledge.

Also, I’ve had it for awhile. You deserve better. I’m not going to be doing better any time soon so I’m leaving you. I’m too busy and the magick is just not happening here when I can barely find time to refine heroin, distill rye, and plot the overthrow of a government, any government. I’m not getting any younger.

I’ll write when I get work. I promise. I mean when I lose my job. That’s what I meant.

Sedition·com Indgredients:

You Don't Know, You Don't Want to Know, Sodium Benzoate.


And while you’re down there, could you DWIW?


Would someone please hurry up and botch a human drug trial so I can use this line?

The blind leading the double blind.


Ay plegli ianectu flaggen, tupep like for stahn…

My heroes have always been cowboys faggots.


As alluded above by a couple of comments: A noose in the right context is a symbolic death threat. Death threats, right or wrong, are not protected speech. Death threats from a group constitute what those fond of justifying murder call a clear and present danger.


Yeah, I saw.
No, we’re 24th for murder in the world.
I plan to do my part to put the USA on top again.
I mean, …uh, don't narc on me!!! It was a joke!!!
I’ll be ethical too someday.


cube-goober · [definition of some variety should follow.]


…It don't take nothin’ but frontin’
For me to start somethin’
Buggin’ and barkin’ at niggaz like I was duck huntin’…


Web developers who let their applications run with warnings going to the error log unread are like people who continue to drive a car that’s making strange sounds. Asking for it.


It’s easy for you to say, growing up with a silver ax in your mouth.


An open apology to the stoners, alcoholics, Xanax poppers, glue sniffers, and kind I have maligned in the past

If you’re daily experience is anything like this, I’d be drunk at work too.


Yay Windows

For your FYI: I just tried to archive the last five months of my mail and it got trashed with this message:

Windows - Delayed Write Failed … the data has been lost.

part 2

Windows sucks. I always forget just how fucking terrible it is because it runs okay at work and doesn't crash thrice daily the way it did 10 years ago. Then I'm forced to deal with it personally like installing it for someone this week. The user interfaces for Vista are inconsistent. Sometimes graphical, large, and above everything. Sometimes tiny, DOS-like, and hidden beneath a details-like listing of information. The self-diagnostics are worse. The ease with which important and blocking items are backgrounded is astounding. The default support for simple things any Mac or Linux user takes for granted like character sets and locales is non-existent. The hoops one must penetrate to get them installed are set at right angles.


…I’m just having thoughts…


The odds in your favor

  • 0.0000032% chance you'll be killed by a terrorist.
  • 0.00000671% chance you'll be killed by an arthropod.
  • 100% chance you will die.

Domain namespacing considered harmful

com.java.fuck.you;

How to buy cheaper antihistamine or sleeping pills

Just buy the generic of whichever is on sale. They’re the same fucking medicine, rubes!


Of course I respect her. No one can say I don’t respect the pants off of her.


Q: What is the one thing all abused women have in common?

A: THEY DON’T LISTEN!


A further note on coding standards

Coding against standards is like driving a car with the doors ripped off. It’s much easier to get in and out and it’s a bit of a rush but it wrecks your gas mileage and besides that it’s still August. We'll see how fucking excited you are about it come January.


Made up words

DAD

Snerbacid. Okay, now you make up a word

4 YEAR-OLD BOY

No.

DAD

Great. What does it mean?

4 YEAR-OLD BOY

What?

DAD

What does “no” mean?

4 YEAR-OLD BOY

It’s a word.

DAD

No it’s not. You just made it up. What does it mean?

4 YEAR-OLD BOY

I don't know.

DAD

You made it up. You have to know.

4 YEAR-OLD BOY

It’s English. It means something.


It occurs to me just now…

…that as I sit at my desk mumbling jackass, fucking retard, what a jerk, and such like, my co-workers might not realize I’m talking to myself.


Get to know me!

I don’t have fantasies, I have hypotheses.


Let’s call the whole thing off

You say incipit, I say insipid,
You say lumbago, I say lambada,
Incipit, insipid, lumbago, lambada,
Let’s call the whole thing off.

You say colada, I say culado
You said mosquito, I say Masada,
Colada, culado, mosquito, Masada,
Oh, let’s call the whole thing off.
Oh, let’s call the whole thing off.

Then we must split and, oh,
If we ever split, that would freak my shit.

I say accidentals, you say the black keys,
You say the vulva, I say the p—

Da-da-da, dee-dee-dee, whatever the Hell else you wanna put in there.


Cellar door may be the most beautiful sound in English but snorkel is the funniest.

And, as I’m sure you anticipated, goodbye, however brief, would be meaningless here without a mother joke.

Well, I actually had tickets to your mom but I ended up not going. The line was too long.

digg stumbleupon del.icio.us reddit Fark Technorati Faves

Discussion

Comments


Jules

Re: Happy New Year — notes molding in the hopper; also so long, farewell, et cetera and so on and so …

"Cellar door may be the most beautiful sound in English but snorkel is the funniest."

"Rectum", I think, wins on both counts...

By Jules on 1 January 2010 · 15:47
comment link · reply to this

Your information (required) Name*
Email*
Website

* Indicates required fields; email is used for validation and is not displayed on the site.

Your comment
Commenting on Happy New Year — notes molding in the hopper; also so long, farewell, et cetera and so on and so forth
Title

Body is limited to ≈1,000 words. Paragraphs—but not line breaks—are automatically inserted. Valid XHTML is required. These are the allowed tags–

<a href=""></a> <br/> <acronym title=""></acronym> <abbr title=""></abbr> <code></code> <pre></pre> <tt></tt> <ins></ins> <del></del> <hr/> <cite></cite> <b></b> <i></i> <sup></sup> <sub></sub> <strong></strong> <em></em> <h1></h1> <h2></h2> <h3></h3> <q></q> <blockquote></blockquote>