Dear Santa,
Friday, 11 December 2009
Dear Santa,
This year I returned someone’s bank book complete with the social security numbers of her whole family, a lost cell phone, and tore up a signed, blank check I found from a local nursery. As of 15 minutes ago you can add saving a life to the list.
You'd better come through, old man.
–Ashley da Quinto
PS: I’m an atheist, you cheating, lying, thieving, back-turning, church-going, sons-a-whores.
Dear Santa,
I would like to write again to formally apologize for tacking an insult to those on the naughty list onto my last missive. I hope the “sons-of-whores” thing didn’t queer the deal.
–Ashley the remorseful
Dear Santa,
Sorry about the “queer the deal” thing. I didn’t mean nothing. Some of my best-friends favorite bloggers are dedicated anthrophagists.
–Ashley who has been waiting without complaint for 3 years for a PS3 still please
