This week in the news #58

Monday, 15 February 2010

Dubai says Hamas man killed by European hit squad

Totally not Israelis

Have you ever in your life seen 11 Jews trying so hard to look WASPy?

No, no, no. That’s not fair. I’m jumping to conclusions. It’s totally possible that a coalition of the Irish, British, German, and French would team up to secretly kill a Hamas commander. The Irish fucking hate Hamas, man. It makes perfect sense.

Olympics host Vancouver ranked world’s most liveable city

You know, as long as you’re not a luger. Or a First Nations descendant. Or have any kind of suicidal tendencies. Or are on the verge of being homeless and lost the chance at low income housing because Vancouver blew their wad for the next two decades trying to act like they’re the USSR, God bless them.

Collapse of the euro is “inevitable”: Bailing out the Greek economy futile, says FRENCH banking chief

What!? You mean mixing a couple of the best and most productive economies in the world with a sack of some of the worst and most corrupt isn’t a great idea? Shocked, I am! Who could have possibly seen this going wrong? Who?

Clinton: Iran is becoming a military dictatorship

O RLY, HILLARY? What exactly would you call the political apparatus responsible for this Free Speech Zone at the Democratic National Congress? You know, the one that burned 25 kids to death at Waco for having a weird religion and some extra guns. You might remember. You were screening calls for the guy signing the orders at the time.

Free Speech Zone; Boston DNC, 2005

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