Questions from the chalkboard #5

Saturday, 10 July 2010

Dear Ashley,

I fucking love you and I don't ever want to live in a world where doesn't you have any descendants who might take over Sedition and just like, keep the Seditious fire alive for the next 100 years????????

From the chalkboard

This could not have been better timed. I was half-way through a bottle of Booker’s with diphenhydramine backs.

Now that I’m back off the ledge I do think I might have another year or two in me. As for the centennial, we are recruiting and I have only fathered children so I could raise my own ninja army. While this may sound ironic, or Ashida Kim Pathétique, to some, I can prove it. You can solicit testimony from any of the larvæ that they are forced to pay for their sushi in push-ups: 5 per nori sushi, 10 per nigiri sushi. Why we began basic knife-fighting training for the two year-old a week ago.

A world where Sedition·com does not exist…? Hmmm, one must concede that beneath the increasing girth of today’s nanny-like big brother this is a possibility. We recommend voting. Vote early, vote often. Vote by whatever definition seems most efficacious.

1. worth a try, provided your vote is going to lead the decisions of at least half a million others.
2. approximately 1/1,000th as effective in causing change as a letter to your Congressman.
3. approximately 1/1,000,000,000th as effective in causing change as a bullet to your Congressman.
more at Congress.

We’re busy persons, after all, and we should use just in time syngeries to incentivize productive demonstrables against maximal projected outcomes for each pending long dark fiscal quarter of the soul.1

1 We don’t actually endorse shooting Senators—as fine a drinking game as that would make—for they are a renewable resource and thinning the herd would only serve to make the remaining animals that much stronger and quicker to duck.

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Re: Questions from the chalkboard #5

I was thinking of a Nanny State children's educational product line. There should be a battery powered Robo-Nanny that tazes and dismembers the other toys. The Klepto-Nanny can emit bromides from either end, usually both at the same time. Also, a limited line of Klepto-Nanny Ultras—the senatorial edition. They can blow smoke rings with their assholes.

By Vagrant on 16 July 2010 · 20:08