This week (catching up) in the news #68

Wednesday, 12 January 2011

Tucson Assassination Attempt on Rep. Gabrielle Giffords

IOZ beats me the punch often enough. And there is no point in trying to duplicate his several takes on it so we’ll just bite one–

Lemme just put a proposition to yinz. This Loughner fellow, he thought that the federal government was trying to control his mind through the deep structures of grammar and syntax, through meddling with his conscious dream-states, and so he got himself a gun and shot a member of the federal government, plus, you know, some collateral civilians. I say to you that he is not a murderer. He is merely a victim of faulty intelligence. He cannot be held morally responsible. No one could have known at the time! I think the best result will be that perhaps, after a period of instability and uncertainty, the state of Arizona will once achieve some reasonable level of self-government, you know, for the region. It will generally be able to secure its borders, hold reasonably free and fair elections. I think if we see that outcome within the next six months to six thousand years, then it will be impossible to condemn fully the initial action, erroneous though it may have been.

Government Grammar

But let’s see him top this, though it wasn’t exactly my find either–

Blen Gloughner …or something—crazy lives in the eyes and jowls, don’t it, just?

Ah, well, I can’t imagine where kids get these crazy ideas… Oh, yeah, here’s a headline from last year–

Confirmed: Obama authorizes assassination of U.S. citizen

One more thing while we’re at it.

Dear Democrats, re: “the cross-hairs of a gun scope”

The word you’re avoiding is “reticle.” You do seem to go on about how illiterate and uneducated the constituency of the Right is. I’m glad to see you keep the messages clear and digestible for your own base.

Breast implants linked with suicide in study

Women who get cosmetic breast implants are nearly three times as likely to commit suicide as other women, U.S. researchers reported on Wednesday.


This is actually back because of this—On fake tits. Most of the chastisement seems squarely placed. Fixing a cleft palate for a five year-old and the ongoing drive-by that is Heidi Blair Pr0ntag are not the same when discussing the various ethics or psychological importance of plastic surgery though and it’s obvious which aspect was being queried. It’s also obvious that a rate approaching 300% higher for suicide is meaningful; what we call statistically significant in the old numbers game.

Fla. jogger won’t be charged for shooting teen

And with Florida the only state in the Union without snow on the ground today I may just have to take back some of the terrible things I’ve been saying about it.

Sarkozy to be subject of “hugely embarrassing” film

You can amend that to Sarkozy to be subject of film. Everyone gets it. It’s just sad Jerry Lewis isn’t young enough to play the part. I know, I know… the French thing with him is a generation passed but don’t tell me that wouldn’t be good physical casting.

Latest German animal star a cross-eyed opossum

I swear to God, Germans are the only people in the world who have their priorities straight.

The other German Heidi

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