My coffee money

Saturday, 12 March 2011

Melinda Gates wants me to give up my coffee to save the life of a kid by using the 13¢ plus a possible $3 to buy some vaccines. Coffee. Melinda Gates wants MY COFFEE MONEY, presumably once a year.

Bill and Melinda are worth 54 billion dollars. That looks like this when you put some zeros to it: $54,000,000,000.00. My net worth is less. Melinda would have to give up more than coffee to become my equal. She would have to give up 99.9995% of her holdings. Bottom line: she would need to spend $53,999,800,000 to become my fiscal peer. That money could provide the $3.13 for 17,252,332,268 children. Seventeen billion kids. And this is quite convenient as there are no more than two billion children in the world.

Bill n’ Melinda

In fact that means the money saved on the fifteen billion non-existent kids she doesn’t need to pay for would leave her with $47,739,799,998 (47.7 billion dollars).

She can buy every kid in the world the vaccines she wants me to buy and still be so obscenely rich that she has more money than the annual gross domestic products of the following 113 countries.

  1. Saint Lucia
  2. Gambia
  3. British Virgin Islands
  4. Antigua and Barbuda
  5. Gibraltar
  6. Djibouti
  7. Bhutan
  8. Belize
  9. Maldives
  10. Burundi
  11. San Marino
  12. Cape Verde
  13. Lesotho
  14. Sierra Leone
  15. Greenland
  16. Central African Republic
  17. Guyana
  18. Cayman Islands
  19. Eritrea
  20. Aruba
  21. Somalia
  22. Faroe Islands
  23. Isle of Man
  24. Guernsey
  25. Guam
  26. Togo
  27. Fiji
  28. Swaziland
  29. Kosovo
  30. Suriname
  31. New Caledonia
  32. Mauritania
  33. Montenegro
  34. Barbados
  35. Guinea
  36. Kyrgyzstan
  37. Malawi
  38. Curacao
  39. Liechtenstein
  40. Jersey
  41. Moldova
  42. Zimbabwe
  43. Tajikistan
  44. Niger
  45. Rwanda
  46. Mongolia
  47. French Polynesia
  48. Laos
  49. Nicaragua
  50. Benin
  51. Haiti
  52. West Bank
  53. Bahamas
  54. Chad
  55. Malta
  56. Madagascar
  57. Burkina Faso
  58. Papua New Guinea
  59. Armenia
  60. Mali
  61. Macedonia
  62. Mauritius
  63. Mozambique
  64. Georgia
  65. Cambodia
  66. Namibia
  67. Albania
  68. Congo, Republic of the
  69. Brunei
  70. Botswana
  71. Gabon
  72. Congo, Democratic Republic of the
  73. Senegal
  74. Iceland
  75. Jamaica
  76. Equatorial Guinea
  77. Nepal
  78. Honduras
  79. Zambia
  80. Bosnia and Herzegovina
  81. Afghanistan
  82. Uganda
  83. Paraguay
  84. Ghana
  85. Estonia
  86. Bolivia
  87. Trinidad and Tobago
  88. Bahrain
  89. El Salvador
  90. Cameroon
  91. Macau
  92. Cote d’Ivoire
  93. Tanzania
  94. Cyprus
  95. Latvia
  96. Jordan
  97. Panama
  98. Turkmenistan
  99. Korea, North
  100. Yemen
  101. Ethiopia
  102. Kenya
  103. Costa Rica
  104. Burma
  105. Lithuania
  106. Uzbekistan
  107. Serbia
  108. Lebanon
  109. Uruguay
  110. Guatemala
  111. Tunisia
  112. Bulgaria
  113. Slovenia

And not to belabor it but if we’re still judging by net worth, $3.13 of my money is equivalent to $845,100 of hers. I’d like to see her give up her coffee money.

Me: Actually the Bill & Melinda Gates Foundation has more than $30 billion in its coffers and gives away at least 5% a year to maintain its charity status; meaning, she gives away her coffee money more than a thousand times a year. All three cups a day. And she does it on things like vaccines for kids, and business and environmentally friendly financial services for the poor around the globe.

Myself: I knew that. Yeah, I knew that. Do you think I didn’t know that? It’s so funny that you’d think I wouldn’t know that.

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