This week Lately in the news #7

Friday, 8 December 2006

Noah and Sons, Ship Builders since 2134 BC

Arctic ice field could melt by 2080: European research

An asteroid could hit the Earth by 2010, ending all human life: plain old historical fact.

By the way, for all the Biblical “scholars” out there—if every ice cube in the world tray melted, the oceans would rise about 200 feet, tops. It would be terribly unpleasant and most of the humans in the world live at that elevation—I’m just saying the blackbird and the dove won’t have far to fly.

Iraqi panel finds US underreported violence in Iraq

World panel finds underwear underutilized in the US.

10 is the new 15 as kids grow up faster

Stupid is the new smart as Americans are pummelled into Cretinville by FOXNews and DailyKos.

When I was 8 I knew kids who were getting high. When I was 13 I knew kids who were doing coke, sleeping around, and bringing guns to school. Here’s your newsflash: this was contemporary to the last news cycle to include a US President being shot and it was in a Blue state in a small town.

Judge: Paper Money Unfair to Blind

Sedition·com: Reality Unfair to Incompetent.

I do agree in this case. Different sized bills is a good idea and it’s weird how stupid we are about this kind of thing. But seriously. Is this where we’re going? That every single one of us needs to be held down to the level of the least able, the least intelligent, the quickest to cry?

The money I agree with, it only makes sense and it’s not prohibitively expensive, it could even save money, but wheelchair access to National Parks…? That’s not a joke. It’s been, or maybe still is, in the courts. The resources spent trying to keep up the stragglers would be better left in the hands of people who are trying to solve their own problems. The government doesn’t give us vaccines or new machines to make life better. Why the fuck do we let them manage the funds. [Note the rhetorical lack of interrogative.]

US actress Gwyneth Paltrow prefers British dinner talk

“I like living here because I don’t fit into the bad side of American psychology. The British are much more intelligent and civilized than the Americans.”

When my heroine Camille Paglia called Ms Paltrow “an insufferable lightweight” back in 2000 I actually flinched. So harsh. Upon some reflection I can only remark, “She got off easy.” Though being married to anyone in Coldplay is karmic retribution enough.

One more thing, deary. Brits are becoming more ass-ignorant every single day in no small part due to the industry in which you’ve made your career. Don’t believe me? In 2004 11% of them thought Hitler was a fictional character. Churchill made out better, coming in with only 9% holding him in disbelief [link]. George birds-of-a-feather Bush didn’t make anyone stupid, Gwyneth, but you sure did.

Al-Qaeda controls western Iraq: US intelligence report

So, take out your home score-cards everyone. Cross check the column 2002 with Iraq and Al-Qaeda. You should find bung. None. Nil. Zero. Not a sausage.

I sure hope someday we track down those responsible for making Iraq into a haven for terrorists. A nice show trial and a round of public executions would go down well, don’t you think?

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