This week in the news #23

Monday, 23 April 2007

Offensive couch label traced to China

The offense in this case was the color of the couch, as shown on the label, was “nigger brown.” In defense of the poor bastard who labeled it I’d like to point out that brown in Chinese translates as “shit color.” He might very well have thought he was toning it down to be less offensive.

Robert Plant Appointed Venezuelan Defense Secretary

Some of the guys at Reason are really growing on me.

Armed Miss America 1944 stops intruder

Venus Rame, 1944 Miss America

I never seem to get around to bringing this up but this seems a good time to mention it. Guns do kill a lot of people but what I have never once in my life seen reported on television news is that they are also used for self-defense and defense of property at least 1.5 million times a year in the US—and by some estimates 5 million times—without killing anyone.

There is no other way for an 82 year-old woman to have the power to stand up to a young man. Or a 20 year-old woman for that matter when taking averages.

Human Brain Has Origin in Lowly Worm

Like I keep telling y’all, you should be getting your science news from me: “How did humans evolve from monkeys?

Catholic Church buries limbo after centuries

The Catholic Church is like the worst science fiction novel I’ve ever read. So now even though we’re born with original sin and bound for Hell, babies might not go there. No, they don’t go to Limbo anymore and yes baptism is still an absolute necessity without which babies will go to Hell except for those who die without being baptized.

I’m considering starting a church of my own founded upon the belief that the true shape of the human soul is a pretzel.

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