What I said about his sister

Saturday, 27 July 2002

I called his sister a whore and we more or less stopped being friends that day. It hurt his feelings quite badly, I think. I miss him a lot sometimes. It was 10 years ago.

He tried to reconnect not so long ago but I’m hard to reconnect with and there was always the lurking question: is your sister a whore or was I just an asshole for saying it?

She was fucking all kinds of guys while she was dating, supposedly steady, our friend and sometimes drummer, Chuck the hockey player. Chuck was a drummer, which I think I mentioned. He was quite good at both. I have another story about him being a drummer and me being sad about not being in a band. Our current story only involves him being a nice guy who didn’t deserve his steady to be out fucking Luc Longley.

I guess that’s why the story will be suddenly interesting to sports fans. That rust-colored scarecrow is somewhat famous now. I wonder if I’ll get a letter from an NBA lawyer.

One night I met Luc and a friend of his; another college basketball player but not a very good one because I can’t remember his name and I’m sure you never heard it. It started with an R, though. Robinson, maybe.

I was a security aide on my campus, which we discussed before. One night I was called up to a girls’ dorm to evict a couple boys who had overstayed the curfew. It was Longley and his retard friend R-something-or-other.

I suppose I could get another one of those legal threat letters for calling the kid a retard. But I don’t think it’ll be on NBA stationery so it’s not too scary, and I’ll stand behind the retard label. Here’s why.

When I very politely asked him and Luc to leave, R-for-retard gets like he’s gonna get up and swing. All oral, like tall white boys get when they never got knocked down for their lunch money as kids.

Now, R’tardo was out for part of the season due to a knee injury. I knew this. I also knew that was exactly where I was gonna kick him if he stood up too quickly. Man! I thought. This kid is *never* gonna play ball again. How perfect is that? I was probably smiling about it. That calmed him down I guess. He got more cooperative when it looked like I was a little too interested in his lunch money.

To be fair, Luc was a perfect gentleman. Excepting when he fucked Chuck’s girlfriend who was Jeremy’s sister and also a redhead. That really wasn’t so cool.

All in all, it was much cooler than that whore encouraging my girlfriend to cheat on and dump me.

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