I’m sorry, Jeri Ryan is a dumb bitch

Saturday, 2 November 2002

Okay, I can take Martin Sheen having political opinions b/c he’s not the President but he plays one on TV. I can take drama students like Alec Baldwin thinking their opinions about anything matter though we all knew drama majors in school and they were the kids who could barely get Ds in anything outside their major. I can’t take Jeri Ryan.

Okay, so what if she was fucking the producer of the TV show she was on? That’s old-hat. Might not mean anything after all. Maybe she just likes producers, right?

And so what if her tits are the first, last, and maybe the only thing anyone will ever remember about that candy-coated new-age nonsensical sehlat-turd called Voyager? So?

The thing is… she was on a talk-show the other night, Letterman. She was kind-of-sort-of bragging about how she was studying to be a geneticist/doctor before fate took her to acting. Talking about how she was soooooooo smart. She could have been a geneticist. It was just one of those things that took her to acting. Genetics was too easy and boring for her.

The talk-show host, revealing a superb dilettante’s thirst for interesting scientific periphery, said something along the lines of, “So you know all about those A, T, C and Gs?”

Jeri Ryan stared back blankly. Apparently the pre-med biology and genetics wasn’t enough to get to adenine, thymine, guanine, cytosine, and of course uracil, which doubles for thymine in RNA, into her pretty little head. Those four letters are the most basic elements of all genetic studies. All DNA on this planet is made of those four and only those four things. If you don’t know them and what they stand for, you don’t know the first thing about genetics.

I had one and only one serious biology class in college. It was 16 years ago. I had to look up the spellings but I knew the amino acids nucleobases. How could anyone possibly forget four letters? CTAG? A talk-show host knows them for godsakes!

That class I took was in Woodward Hall. It had to be a big hall b/c there were about 800 kids enrolled in it. After the first mid-term exam about 300 kids showed up for class. Whatever the campus was, Jeri Ryan was surely one of the 500 who dropped due to embryology being slightly more difficult than memorizing a page of Neil Simon.

Could’ve been a doctor? For fucksakes! Could’ve been a stripper. Maybe.

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Counter-Gripe

Re: I’m sorry, Jeri Ryan is a dumb bitch

They're nitrogen bases, not amino acids. Three nitrogen bases will code for one amino acid. Good job on remembering four letters though. You should be commended.

By Counter-Gripe on 13 May 2009 · 12:44
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Ashley

Fair enough

Good correction. To set the facetiousness straight, I wasn’t bragging about how I was too smart to be a geneticist but found banging producers something worthy of engaging my full faculties.

Your taste in actors is to be admired.

By Ashley on 13 May 2009 · 18:13
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