Every 8 year old Singaporean Chinese girl is smarter than you are

Wednesday, 26 February 2003

I’ve lived with lots of people. There’s only one I never got into a fight with. I’ve even avoided gun play with better than 93% of them. That’s an A-. Just like my blood type. Symmetry is a fantastic thing in life. Ties it all up. Who cares if it’s completely unrelated.

The one person I’ve lived with and never even got in an argument with was Shawn Kelly. I put his name b/c he welched on a deal so I’m a little steamed after all and I’d like him to look me up so I can complain.

Shawn and I lived together in I’Chon, ROK when we were both teaching at Kuk Je. I saved him from drowning in a rice field once, more or less. I full on saved him from sleeping in his sewage soaked clothes by making his drunk ass strip after I dragged him out of the stinking water and walked him home. Man we drank a lot of OB Lager together till he got thrown out of Korea.

He had a crush on a wonderful young lady who went by Sunny. Close enough to her real name to work well. Her brother had the best little dive in I’Chon but that’s another story.

Shawn wanted to give her some flowers. I supported the venture b/c she seemed so damn terrific. He was too timid though so wanted me to go with him. Ho! Sure, I said. But I put a condition on it. If they ever got married, he had to ask me to be his best man. I’m a child of vision you see. I’m also a child of Loki. When we got to her I pushed him and his roses at her and I ran.

He exchanged pleasantries and more or less asked her out. Then he ran after me intending to kick my ass or at least throw one shot. But God love him, he may be Canadian but he’s no Ben Johnson. He never even got close.

They got married but I never got an invite, let alone a best man request. Always a bride’s maid. I was in the states by then, though, so it saved me at least $1,000 US. All told, he was the best roommate I ever had. I’m not even really steamed about the wedding. I just wanted an excuse to have him find himself here via Google and write me one of these days.

But back to the Singaporean girl. After Shawn got kicked out of Korea he went to Singapore. I visited and we even went to Thailand together. Swanky old city-state the Lion City. Koh Samet ain’t half bad neither.

Shawn taught English in Singapore too. He had an 8 year old student curious about his occidentiality (to coin a term) ask him one day, “Are you a Christian or a free-thinker?”

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